In case anyone follows me here, I have in fact been active even though I haven't updated this blogspot. The commenting drawbacks and the spots caused me to write in my livejournal account instead of here. However, the SuJu archive is still being archived.
My journal can be found here.
Sorry for any inconveniences!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Drabbles/One-Shots (Sichul x2, Kyuhae, Sungwook, and a WHAT now?)
The point of the drabbles/oneshots this time around is to help me become more comfortable with pairings I don't normally write. Because I so badly want to do the 100 SuJu oneshot challenge thing, but all the different pairings just blow my mind and I would probably do them injustice
Since the ratings of these ones differ, I've put the ratings next to each drabble. But I guess these are mostly short oneshots, since they're much too long to be drabbles (so I think).
( 1) God || SiChul (#1) || PG )
( 2) Mandarin || KyuHae (#1) || PG )
( 3) Roles || SungWook (#1) || PG )
( 4) Kneeling || SiChul (#2) ('God' Reprise. The first half is the same; the ending is different.) || PG-13/T )
And, because I couldn't help myself....
( 5) Trust || Yesung/Ddangkkoma (#1) || PG13 )
Since the ratings of these ones differ, I've put the ratings next to each drabble. But I guess these are mostly short oneshots, since they're much too long to be drabbles (so I think).
( 1) God || SiChul (#1) || PG )
( 2) Mandarin || KyuHae (#1) || PG )
( 3) Roles || SungWook (#1) || PG )
( 4) Kneeling || SiChul (#2) ('God' Reprise. The first half is the same; the ending is different.) || PG-13/T )
And, because I couldn't help myself....
( 5) Trust || Yesung/Ddangkkoma (#1) || PG13 )
Monday, December 21, 2009
Drabbles/One-shots (Kihae, Yewook, Kyumin, Eunhae)
Apparently I get all my inspiration at 3 in the morning.
Uhm, so here are several drabbles/oneshots I came up with at 3 in the morning (see above). I guess I'll post onto communities in the new year, since I'm SUPPOSEDLY not writing in 2009 anymore. I have the strangest feeling my New Year goals for 2010 are going to fail epically.
All drabbles can be considered PG rating. Three of them have happy endings. Said three have a bit of fluff sticking out of them.
( Waiting || Kihae (#10) )
( Piano || Yewook (#2) )
( Proclamation || Kyumin (#6) )
( Fable || Eunhae (#1) )
Uhm, so here are several drabbles/oneshots I came up with at 3 in the morning (see above). I guess I'll post onto communities in the new year, since I'm SUPPOSEDLY not writing in 2009 anymore. I have the strangest feeling my New Year goals for 2010 are going to fail epically.
All drabbles can be considered PG rating. Three of them have happy endings. Said three have a bit of fluff sticking out of them.
( Waiting || Kihae (#10) )
( Piano || Yewook (#2) )
( Proclamation || Kyumin (#6) )
( Fable || Eunhae (#1) )
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Eunhae: In Blanket's Snow: Chapter 2
As a reminder, this is primarily a FIRST-PERSON NARRATIVE.
Story Info:
Title: In Blanket's Snow
Author: J. Armstrong
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance, slightly OoC? (if so, only slightly), post-band fic
Main Pairing(s): Eunhae, Kyumin
Side Pairing(s): Yewook, Kihae
Story Rating: PG13
Summary: Draft. Years after their disbanding, he suddenly finds himself facing a past he never wanted to deal with. And before he realizes it, he's forced to make a decision. In a fork of two roads, he can only take one.
Chapter Info:
Title: to pick up broken snowflakes
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 6389
Link: here
SuJu Archive: here
Friday, December 18, 2009
KyuMin: Heart (#5)
So apparently the terms is QMi and not KyuMi. NOW I KNOW! XD I guess I should've put this under QMi, but since it really focuses more on KyuMin interaction and doesn't even mention Zhou Mi... ah well. BEWARE FOR INSANE SHORTNESS.
Title: Heart (#5)
Word Count: 190
Rating: G
Started/Finished: 12.19.09 / 12.19.09
Music Muse: Super Junior, "Puff the Magic Dragon" (OMG I CRIED LAUGHING LISTENING TO THIS)
Description: Sungmin had given him his all.
Title: Heart (#5)
Word Count: 190
Rating: G
Started/Finished: 12.19.09 / 12.19.09
Music Muse: Super Junior, "Puff the Magic Dragon" (OMG I CRIED LAUGHING LISTENING TO THIS)
Description: Sungmin had given him his all.
Heart
"Hyung, is there something I can give you? Anything I can do to make up for this...?"
Sungmin had given him his all, and everyone knew it. It wasn't something Sungmin wanted everyone knowing; he was just very bad at hiding this fact from everyone, Kyuhyun included.
Kyuhyun had known, but Kyuhyun hadn't considered him. Because in the end, Sungmin had lost.
Sungmin wished he could say it didn't hurt, to have tried so hard yet to see it all fall. But he knew his heart would catch him, accuse him of lying....
Because it did hurt.
Sungmin had given him his all, and everyone knew it. It wasn't something Sungmin wanted everyone knowing, but he hated how people saw him as "his favorite hyung," Kyuhyun included.
Sungmin knew it wasn't Kyuhyun's fault. It wasn't his fault that his heart had different interests than Sungmin's.
Right?
In the end, Sungmin had lost everything to Kyuhyun.
Because in the end, Kyuhyun had chosen Zhou Mi.
"Hyung, is there something I can give you? Anything I can do to make up for this...?"
"Kyu... can you give me back my heart?"
The goal behind this one was to portray an emotion with as few words as possible; as I'm notoriously a man of words, it was my attempt to express an emotion without ranting.
I hope I've succeeded?
Sungmin had given him his all, and everyone knew it. It wasn't something Sungmin wanted everyone knowing; he was just very bad at hiding this fact from everyone, Kyuhyun included.
Kyuhyun had known, but Kyuhyun hadn't considered him. Because in the end, Sungmin had lost.
Sungmin wished he could say it didn't hurt, to have tried so hard yet to see it all fall. But he knew his heart would catch him, accuse him of lying....
Because it did hurt.
Sungmin had given him his all, and everyone knew it. It wasn't something Sungmin wanted everyone knowing, but he hated how people saw him as "his favorite hyung," Kyuhyun included.
Sungmin knew it wasn't Kyuhyun's fault. It wasn't his fault that his heart had different interests than Sungmin's.
Right?
In the end, Sungmin had lost everything to Kyuhyun.
Because in the end, Kyuhyun had chosen Zhou Mi.
"Hyung, is there something I can give you? Anything I can do to make up for this...?"
"Kyu... can you give me back my heart?"
The goal behind this one was to portray an emotion with as few words as possible; as I'm notoriously a man of words, it was my attempt to express an emotion without ranting.
I hope I've succeeded?
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
KiHae: Competition (#9)
PURE CRACK. On the bright side, I found out today that I got straight As for the semester. Hurray for surviving another semester of college~!
Title: Competition (#9)
Word Count: 2752
Rating: T/R? (It was supposed to be NC17, but I couldn't bring myself to write the sex...)
Started/Finished: 12.16.09 / 12.17.09
Music Muse: Super Junior T, "Chot Cha"
Description: In the end, you're not quite like us. But I guess we have to give you credit for trying.
Competition
Kibum doesn't really know who to blame.
He certainly remembers how it all began. It was one morning over the weekend, when their schedules didn't demand them to wake up at ungodly hours. Because they weren't in a hurry to go anywhere, the members that were present had decided to eat breakfast together -- and even though the breakfast was merely cereal and nothing special, being able to eat a bowl of cereal in a thirty-minute span was unique enough.
It had been a conversation during this particular meal that began it all. Kibum doesn't really remember anymore how the conversation had begun; all he remembers is Sungmin randomly asking everyone if they knew who Hankyung was currently with.
"He's with Kyuhyun, I think," Ryeowook had said.
"He's what?"
"Ah, Sungmin-ah," said Yesung, "I think Wookie means that's who he's with right now. They went to the city with Henry and Zhou Mi, remember?"
"He went to the city with Zhou Mi?" Kibum remembers laughing at Sungmin's frustration; served the man right for being too inquisitive and for nosy-ing around in other people's businesses.
"Ah, but to answer seriously, isn't he with Siwon?" asked Donghae when Sungmin had been successfully convinced of Kyuhyun's loyalty to him and him only. "I remember when we were touring in China those two shared a room, and there were interesting noises coming from that room."
"Wasn't Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi's room right next door, though?" asked Ryeowook, though this time it was clear in his expression that his remark had been intentional.
"Kyu wouldn't~!" Sungmin cried, indignantly (and perhaps unknowingly) stabbing his cereal with his spoon.
"Don't listen to him," Kibum decided to tell his hyung, perhaps out of pity. At that time, the conversation was innocent; if Kibum had known where the conversation was headed, perhaps he would've let them continue harassing Sungmin. Maybe then they would've never reached that topic....
"Ah, but if I remember correctly," said Yesung, pulling the mischievous Ryeowook closer to his grasp and away from the deadly Sungmin; "wasn't Heechul all over Hankyung the other day? I mean, nothing wrong with skinship, but...."
"I was thinking that," said Sungmin thoughtfully, "and that was why I was beginning to wonder. But then I thought Heechul does that to everyone. I mean, who hasn't he kissed?--and if you say he hasn't kissed you, then you're lying and just ashamed of it."
"To be honest," said Eunhyuk, who had remained silent at his end of the table up until this point; "I thought he was with Heechul."
"Let's take a vote!" said Donghae, his eyes filled with inspiration and curiosity. "In favor of Hankyung with Siwon?" At this Donghae raised his hand immediately; Ryeowook and Sungmin were the only one to follow. In contrast Kibum, Eunhyuk, and Yesung had raised their hands in Heechul's favor.
"Unofficially, it's Hanchul then," Donghae finished conclusively, turning to Sungmin. "Why did you ask, anyway? You think Hankyung's two-timing both of them?"
"I already said, I was wondering about Heechul. And I don't know if he's two-timing them or what, but it's got me curious...."
"Ah," said Kibum, shaking his head. "Maybe we should leave it alone. It's their business, right? Let them do what they want."
He'd been trying to be fair, really. He still wishes they had listened to him, that even Donghae -- his own boyfriend -- would listen to him. But all he'd gotten in response, from both Donghae and Sungmin, had been:
"Ah, you're no fun Kibummie! Stop being such a spoilsport!"
As a result of that conversation, Kibum had been forced to endure endless conversations regarding the mystery of Hankyung's relationship status. He tried to maintain his neutrality on the matter, but with the topic sprouting forth everywhere it was really quite hard to ignore. He was actually surprised that none of the three in question ever made any mention of the suddenly popular conversational topic; Kibum had been sure that, somewhere down the line, at least one of the three would have overheard.
Opinions started to change as time passed. For instance, within a day Yesung had changed his vote from Heechul to Siwon. But Kibum saw this outcome coming from a mile away; he already knew that Yesung would convert his vote to whatever Ryeowook's was in order to appease the other man. Actually, what intrigued Kibum more was whether Yesung was really now in favor of Siwon and not merely saying so.
Even people who hadn't been in the conversation began making their guesses. Kangin cast his vote for Heechul, claiming that only an idiot would think Hankyung was with Siwon; Shindong gave a rather similar vote, making his basis on random events in the past that even Kibum had forgotten about. In contrast, Henry and Zhou Mi both said Siwon, though Kibum thought that might've been a little biased since Heechul tended to annoy them ("foreigners") whenever they were around each other.
Kyuhyun had taken to Siwon's side also, and though he had a rather legitimate reason as his basis (though it'd been similar to Donghae's) Kibum was sure that the nature of Kyuhyun's position was much like Yesung's had been. But for some reason he found himself pitying Kyuhyun for being cracked under Sungmin's whip, while he felt no such remorse for Yesung.
As it seemed, Super Junior M members seemed to know something that caused them all to pick Siwon. This included Donghae, who seemed to be the only person who wasn't swaying votes just to appease a significant other. Actually, it was probably more accurate to say that Kibum wasn't the one swaying votes, because every other hour Donghae had given him speeches about why Kibum should pick Siwon over Heechul.
Kibum can't say he didn't try to get Donghae out of the mess. "Hae," he remembers saying, "It's really none of our business. Just let them be."
"But don't you want to know?" And it was then that Kibum decided convincing Donghae was a lost cause.
The situation was much more inflated than it needed to be. Kibum doesn't even remember when Donghae and Sungmin had begun using a notebook to keep tallies on "Hanchul" and "Sihan" moments. Sometimes the two would get into fights about why it was Hanchul and not Heekyung (and similarly Sihan and not... whatever term had Hankyung on top), and it usually took either Kibum or Kyuhyun's efforts to make the debate stop; usually it was Kyuhyun, who'd always say "Sungminnie, I promise to choose you over Starcraft if you stop arguing about this."
And that usually worked more than Kibum's "Hae, leave them alone."
Much as Kibum had expected, the three in question finally did catch on.
One day, as the group was on a bus headed for a press meeting, Heechul had called for everyone's attention. With voice loud and clear, he yelled, "Quit it with this Hanchul and Sihan crap already, all right? You're all wrong! It's SiHanChul!"
And of course, as everyone began to whisper to each other their opinions regarding this newly disclosed information, it was only Leeteuk who'd said, "Heechul, we know already, why are you telling us this?"
Kibum wishes it had ended there. But it hadn't.
It was perhaps a day after Heechul's comment that Donghae approached him. Kibum remembers that day perfectly too; the man had put on his best pair of puppy eyes, looking both irresistible and likable at the same time. And Kibum probably would've opened his mouth to say "Yes, I'll do anything you say," if it hadn't been for Donghae's eagerness to spew his new plan at rocket speed.
"Repeat. Slower."
So Donghae had. "So Yesung and Ryeowook were saying at lunch how they were now officially Super Junior's most perfect couple, since the whole Hankyung business is now a threesome and not a couple."
"When you say threesome, you make it sound like all they do is have--"
"--but then Sungmin and Kyuhyun cut them off and began saying how they were the perfect couple."
Kibum had sighed. "Hae, if you're trying to say that we're the perfect couple... well, I'd comp--"
"But then Heechul said that they were the perfect threesome! But then I was thinking, you know, they're only Super Junior's perfect threesome because they are the only threesome! So I was thinking...."
Kibum is surprised how fast he'd managed to catch on to Donghae's train of thought, and so before Donghae even managed to say it aloud Kibum rejected him completely. But Kibum supposes Donghae had come equipped with a pair of sad puppy eyes for a reason....
"...who'd you have in mind?"
A day later, Kibum found himself sharing Donghae with Eunhyuk. Actually, he didn't and still doesn't really know why that other man even agreed to the stupidity of Donghae's idea; Kibum himself didn't really mind so long as he didn't have to do anything with Eunhyuk.
And so, within another day, SiHanChul had been presented with its competition.
Kibum doesn't really know who to blame.
He could (and probably will) blame Sungmin, who had brought up the stupid question about who Hankyung was with. And then he could blame Kyuhyun for being whipped and not repressing the man like he should've been.
He could also blame Hankyung for causing Sungmin to be so damn curious. And then he could blame Heechul for having to spill the awful yet inspiring (to Donghae, at least) truth.
He could (and probably wouldn't) blame Donghae also, for suggesting the stupid idea of adding Eunhyuk to their relationship in order to become the perfect threesome.
He could blame Eunhyuk for agreeing to Donghae's stupid idea.
He could blame Yesung and Ryeowook for claiming to be the perfect couple, thus provoking Donghae.
Kibum is a very posessive and protective person, and he absolutely despises the idea of having to share Donghae; as a consequence, unwillingly being in a threesome pisses him off to no end. But whoever Kibum ended up blaming for it in the end, it doesn't change the fact that, because of Donghae's stupid idea, Kibum sees and spends less time with Donghae.
Because for some reason, even though Donghae sees them as the supposedly perfect threesome, he chooses to invest his interests in Eunhyuk instead.
One day, as Kibum distastefully watches Donghae cuddle with Eunhyuk in front of the television, Heechul decides its time for an intervention.
"Who are you kidding?" Heechul says with a laugh, motioning his free hand to Donghae and Eunhyuk. "Perfect threesome?"
"That didn't come from me."
"Does Donghae even know what the word threesome means?" Heechul asks suddenly, giving the question some thought. "From my perspective it's like he's subconsciously dumped you for Hyukkie there."
Kibum frowns. "You think so?" He doesn't really want to think about that truth -- no, that possibility. It couldn't be true. Donghae was probably just lost in the moment... that had to be it.
"Probably not, but you never know. It's definitely not a threesome. Threesomes are all about... a perfect balance, so to speak. You gotta treat everyone fairly. You can't make anyone feel bored or jealous. Well... actually, I take back that last part. Jealousy only adds to the fun later on."
"You think that's what Donghae's doing to me?"
Heechul laughs, but shakes his head. "Ah, no, I don't think I'd put something like that past him...." The two turned to the two sitting on the couch; Kibum's gut clenches when he sees Donghae's head lying on Eunhyuk's stomach, staring up with the goofiest smile upon his face. And to think, that used to be him Donghae would give those smiles to....
"I say slap Donghae back to reality," Heechul says with certainty. "End this stupid game of threesomes--because we're obviously the only ones who can pull it off."
"Hae wouldn't like that idea."
"But it's the truth, and the truth hurts. Now go and claim what's rightfully yours." Kibum nods and gives his thanks, but in the end he doesn't talk to Donghae about it then; instead he takes a seat on Eunhyuk's other side, receiving a mere (yet happy) greeting on Donghae's part.
In the end, Kibum decides that Heechul doesn't actually give advice because he cares about Kibum's well-being. Rather, Heechul had only helped him out in order to defend his title with Hankyung and Siwon. And though Kibum himself doesn't really care much for such a title, he can't help but to give Heechul props for his craftiness.
Kibum probably puts up with their "threesome" for another two days at most. Actually, it's when Donghae decides to give Eunhyuk a kiss on the cheek that Kibum realizes that enough is enough. But he doesn't even have to grab Donghae by the wrist to drag him away from that thief; somehow Donghae manages to meet him halfway.
"Kibummie!" Donghae says with a laugh, clearly ignoring Kibum's glares of death.
"Talk. Now." Kibum doesn't know why he chooses the bathroom as a place to hold their conversation, but within moments he throws Donghae in and slams the door shut.
"Kibummie?"
"This needs to end," growls Kibum. "This needs to end now. Your threesome has got to the stupidest, most insane, stupidest, senseless... stupidest idea you've ever come up with! How is even fair that I have to share you just to compete with some stupid title that even fits you? If you prefer him over me then why don't you just--"
But Kibum never finishes, because at that point Donghae decides to throw himself on Kibum. The younger man protests at first, but the instant Donghae smothers his lips on his own Kibum finds no reason to resist or retort back. Their kiss is enthralling, bruising, desperate, passionate... but then.
"What the bloody hell, Hae," Kibum curses, pulling apart to catch his breath. "I'm the one who should desperately be wanting this, not you! I'm the one who's been deprived of Donghae because you've been spending more time with him!"
Donghae only laughs, shaking his head. "Ah, you think so? I only did it because you're the most unresponsive boyfriend ever!"
Kibum stares blankly. "Unresponsive? Me? -- and you did what?"
"Hyukkie agreed to fake being a part of a threesome so I could make you jealous~!" Donghae says happily. "No offense, Kibummie, but you barely even hold me, even when we hug."
"That's not true, I--"
"--it is true, Kibummie. I mean, Yesung and Ryeowook hold each other all the time, and Kyuhyun gives Sungmin kisses whenever he wants one. But you--"
"I kiss you, Hae."
"Like a mother kisses her daughter, yeah. But I'm your boyfriend, Kibummie." Kibum merely stares. So this had been the truth of it all? So in the end, the person to blame was none other than Kibum himself, for not believing in public displays of affection?
Screw that.
"You want to see a kiss?" Kibum challenges, and before Donghae replies their mouths meet once more. Kibum is dominating and possessive, and he makes sure in his kiss and in his actions that he is anything but an unresponsive boyfriend.
He misses Donghae's sly and triumphant smirk between their kisses entirely.
In the end, Kibum blames himself. But he doesn't really mind the outcome, so he tends to congratulate himself instead.
Although, he admits he becomes a little worried when one day, during yet another idle breakfast meal, Sungmin asks everyone what it means to top in a threesome. Heechul informs everyone that if there were really a top in their relationship then he would be it, merely because he has the whip cracked on the other two; Kyuhyun immediately turns down this claim, saying that though Sungmin has him under the whip he has never once bottomed.
Not only does this new conversation give him unwanted new information, but Kibum also fears it will give Donghae new ideas. Kibum can already see it now: "Kibummie, I think you should let me top for once~! Heechul was saying the other day--"
The idea scares Kibum at first, but in the end Kibum doesn't really give it much thought. It was Donghae, after all. After their escapade in the bathroom, any sex with Donghae would be worth it in the end.
(Ultimately Kibum decides that, though everything began with questioning Hankyung, in the end Heechul somehow had become the center of attention. Not that anyone had found this surprising, though).
There is a highly likely chance that this one-shot will be revisited in the distant future. More specifically, there's a good chance the sex scene I skipped (I actually wrote about 500 words of it, but deleted it because I couldn't stop laughing as I was writing) will be rewritten. That'll appear in my writing journal, though, and I'll let everyone know when it does show up (or just friend me, either way).
Anyway, this is my last contribution to the SuJu fandom for the 2009 year. I have other projects I've been neglecting, so I'll be working on those from now on. I hope you've all enjoyed what I've contributed, and I'll see you in the new year~!
Title: Competition (#9)
Word Count: 2752
Rating: T/R? (It was supposed to be NC17, but I couldn't bring myself to write the sex...)
Started/Finished: 12.16.09 / 12.17.09
Music Muse: Super Junior T, "Chot Cha"
Description: In the end, you're not quite like us. But I guess we have to give you credit for trying.
Competition
Kibum doesn't really know who to blame.
He certainly remembers how it all began. It was one morning over the weekend, when their schedules didn't demand them to wake up at ungodly hours. Because they weren't in a hurry to go anywhere, the members that were present had decided to eat breakfast together -- and even though the breakfast was merely cereal and nothing special, being able to eat a bowl of cereal in a thirty-minute span was unique enough.
It had been a conversation during this particular meal that began it all. Kibum doesn't really remember anymore how the conversation had begun; all he remembers is Sungmin randomly asking everyone if they knew who Hankyung was currently with.
"He's with Kyuhyun, I think," Ryeowook had said.
"He's what?"
"Ah, Sungmin-ah," said Yesung, "I think Wookie means that's who he's with right now. They went to the city with Henry and Zhou Mi, remember?"
"He went to the city with Zhou Mi?" Kibum remembers laughing at Sungmin's frustration; served the man right for being too inquisitive and for nosy-ing around in other people's businesses.
"Ah, but to answer seriously, isn't he with Siwon?" asked Donghae when Sungmin had been successfully convinced of Kyuhyun's loyalty to him and him only. "I remember when we were touring in China those two shared a room, and there were interesting noises coming from that room."
"Wasn't Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi's room right next door, though?" asked Ryeowook, though this time it was clear in his expression that his remark had been intentional.
"Kyu wouldn't~!" Sungmin cried, indignantly (and perhaps unknowingly) stabbing his cereal with his spoon.
"Don't listen to him," Kibum decided to tell his hyung, perhaps out of pity. At that time, the conversation was innocent; if Kibum had known where the conversation was headed, perhaps he would've let them continue harassing Sungmin. Maybe then they would've never reached that topic....
"Ah, but if I remember correctly," said Yesung, pulling the mischievous Ryeowook closer to his grasp and away from the deadly Sungmin; "wasn't Heechul all over Hankyung the other day? I mean, nothing wrong with skinship, but...."
"I was thinking that," said Sungmin thoughtfully, "and that was why I was beginning to wonder. But then I thought Heechul does that to everyone. I mean, who hasn't he kissed?--and if you say he hasn't kissed you, then you're lying and just ashamed of it."
"To be honest," said Eunhyuk, who had remained silent at his end of the table up until this point; "I thought he was with Heechul."
"Let's take a vote!" said Donghae, his eyes filled with inspiration and curiosity. "In favor of Hankyung with Siwon?" At this Donghae raised his hand immediately; Ryeowook and Sungmin were the only one to follow. In contrast Kibum, Eunhyuk, and Yesung had raised their hands in Heechul's favor.
"Unofficially, it's Hanchul then," Donghae finished conclusively, turning to Sungmin. "Why did you ask, anyway? You think Hankyung's two-timing both of them?"
"I already said, I was wondering about Heechul. And I don't know if he's two-timing them or what, but it's got me curious...."
"Ah," said Kibum, shaking his head. "Maybe we should leave it alone. It's their business, right? Let them do what they want."
He'd been trying to be fair, really. He still wishes they had listened to him, that even Donghae -- his own boyfriend -- would listen to him. But all he'd gotten in response, from both Donghae and Sungmin, had been:
"Ah, you're no fun Kibummie! Stop being such a spoilsport!"
As a result of that conversation, Kibum had been forced to endure endless conversations regarding the mystery of Hankyung's relationship status. He tried to maintain his neutrality on the matter, but with the topic sprouting forth everywhere it was really quite hard to ignore. He was actually surprised that none of the three in question ever made any mention of the suddenly popular conversational topic; Kibum had been sure that, somewhere down the line, at least one of the three would have overheard.
Opinions started to change as time passed. For instance, within a day Yesung had changed his vote from Heechul to Siwon. But Kibum saw this outcome coming from a mile away; he already knew that Yesung would convert his vote to whatever Ryeowook's was in order to appease the other man. Actually, what intrigued Kibum more was whether Yesung was really now in favor of Siwon and not merely saying so.
Even people who hadn't been in the conversation began making their guesses. Kangin cast his vote for Heechul, claiming that only an idiot would think Hankyung was with Siwon; Shindong gave a rather similar vote, making his basis on random events in the past that even Kibum had forgotten about. In contrast, Henry and Zhou Mi both said Siwon, though Kibum thought that might've been a little biased since Heechul tended to annoy them ("foreigners") whenever they were around each other.
Kyuhyun had taken to Siwon's side also, and though he had a rather legitimate reason as his basis (though it'd been similar to Donghae's) Kibum was sure that the nature of Kyuhyun's position was much like Yesung's had been. But for some reason he found himself pitying Kyuhyun for being cracked under Sungmin's whip, while he felt no such remorse for Yesung.
As it seemed, Super Junior M members seemed to know something that caused them all to pick Siwon. This included Donghae, who seemed to be the only person who wasn't swaying votes just to appease a significant other. Actually, it was probably more accurate to say that Kibum wasn't the one swaying votes, because every other hour Donghae had given him speeches about why Kibum should pick Siwon over Heechul.
Kibum can't say he didn't try to get Donghae out of the mess. "Hae," he remembers saying, "It's really none of our business. Just let them be."
"But don't you want to know?" And it was then that Kibum decided convincing Donghae was a lost cause.
The situation was much more inflated than it needed to be. Kibum doesn't even remember when Donghae and Sungmin had begun using a notebook to keep tallies on "Hanchul" and "Sihan" moments. Sometimes the two would get into fights about why it was Hanchul and not Heekyung (and similarly Sihan and not... whatever term had Hankyung on top), and it usually took either Kibum or Kyuhyun's efforts to make the debate stop; usually it was Kyuhyun, who'd always say "Sungminnie, I promise to choose you over Starcraft if you stop arguing about this."
And that usually worked more than Kibum's "Hae, leave them alone."
Much as Kibum had expected, the three in question finally did catch on.
One day, as the group was on a bus headed for a press meeting, Heechul had called for everyone's attention. With voice loud and clear, he yelled, "Quit it with this Hanchul and Sihan crap already, all right? You're all wrong! It's SiHanChul!"
And of course, as everyone began to whisper to each other their opinions regarding this newly disclosed information, it was only Leeteuk who'd said, "Heechul, we know already, why are you telling us this?"
Kibum wishes it had ended there. But it hadn't.
It was perhaps a day after Heechul's comment that Donghae approached him. Kibum remembers that day perfectly too; the man had put on his best pair of puppy eyes, looking both irresistible and likable at the same time. And Kibum probably would've opened his mouth to say "Yes, I'll do anything you say," if it hadn't been for Donghae's eagerness to spew his new plan at rocket speed.
"Repeat. Slower."
So Donghae had. "So Yesung and Ryeowook were saying at lunch how they were now officially Super Junior's most perfect couple, since the whole Hankyung business is now a threesome and not a couple."
"When you say threesome, you make it sound like all they do is have--"
"--but then Sungmin and Kyuhyun cut them off and began saying how they were the perfect couple."
Kibum had sighed. "Hae, if you're trying to say that we're the perfect couple... well, I'd comp--"
"But then Heechul said that they were the perfect threesome! But then I was thinking, you know, they're only Super Junior's perfect threesome because they are the only threesome! So I was thinking...."
Kibum is surprised how fast he'd managed to catch on to Donghae's train of thought, and so before Donghae even managed to say it aloud Kibum rejected him completely. But Kibum supposes Donghae had come equipped with a pair of sad puppy eyes for a reason....
"...who'd you have in mind?"
A day later, Kibum found himself sharing Donghae with Eunhyuk. Actually, he didn't and still doesn't really know why that other man even agreed to the stupidity of Donghae's idea; Kibum himself didn't really mind so long as he didn't have to do anything with Eunhyuk.
And so, within another day, SiHanChul had been presented with its competition.
Kibum doesn't really know who to blame.
He could (and probably will) blame Sungmin, who had brought up the stupid question about who Hankyung was with. And then he could blame Kyuhyun for being whipped and not repressing the man like he should've been.
He could also blame Hankyung for causing Sungmin to be so damn curious. And then he could blame Heechul for having to spill the awful yet inspiring (to Donghae, at least) truth.
He could (and probably wouldn't) blame Donghae also, for suggesting the stupid idea of adding Eunhyuk to their relationship in order to become the perfect threesome.
He could blame Eunhyuk for agreeing to Donghae's stupid idea.
He could blame Yesung and Ryeowook for claiming to be the perfect couple, thus provoking Donghae.
Kibum is a very posessive and protective person, and he absolutely despises the idea of having to share Donghae; as a consequence, unwillingly being in a threesome pisses him off to no end. But whoever Kibum ended up blaming for it in the end, it doesn't change the fact that, because of Donghae's stupid idea, Kibum sees and spends less time with Donghae.
Because for some reason, even though Donghae sees them as the supposedly perfect threesome, he chooses to invest his interests in Eunhyuk instead.
One day, as Kibum distastefully watches Donghae cuddle with Eunhyuk in front of the television, Heechul decides its time for an intervention.
"Who are you kidding?" Heechul says with a laugh, motioning his free hand to Donghae and Eunhyuk. "Perfect threesome?"
"That didn't come from me."
"Does Donghae even know what the word threesome means?" Heechul asks suddenly, giving the question some thought. "From my perspective it's like he's subconsciously dumped you for Hyukkie there."
Kibum frowns. "You think so?" He doesn't really want to think about that truth -- no, that possibility. It couldn't be true. Donghae was probably just lost in the moment... that had to be it.
"Probably not, but you never know. It's definitely not a threesome. Threesomes are all about... a perfect balance, so to speak. You gotta treat everyone fairly. You can't make anyone feel bored or jealous. Well... actually, I take back that last part. Jealousy only adds to the fun later on."
"You think that's what Donghae's doing to me?"
Heechul laughs, but shakes his head. "Ah, no, I don't think I'd put something like that past him...." The two turned to the two sitting on the couch; Kibum's gut clenches when he sees Donghae's head lying on Eunhyuk's stomach, staring up with the goofiest smile upon his face. And to think, that used to be him Donghae would give those smiles to....
"I say slap Donghae back to reality," Heechul says with certainty. "End this stupid game of threesomes--because we're obviously the only ones who can pull it off."
"Hae wouldn't like that idea."
"But it's the truth, and the truth hurts. Now go and claim what's rightfully yours." Kibum nods and gives his thanks, but in the end he doesn't talk to Donghae about it then; instead he takes a seat on Eunhyuk's other side, receiving a mere (yet happy) greeting on Donghae's part.
In the end, Kibum decides that Heechul doesn't actually give advice because he cares about Kibum's well-being. Rather, Heechul had only helped him out in order to defend his title with Hankyung and Siwon. And though Kibum himself doesn't really care much for such a title, he can't help but to give Heechul props for his craftiness.
Kibum probably puts up with their "threesome" for another two days at most. Actually, it's when Donghae decides to give Eunhyuk a kiss on the cheek that Kibum realizes that enough is enough. But he doesn't even have to grab Donghae by the wrist to drag him away from that thief; somehow Donghae manages to meet him halfway.
"Kibummie!" Donghae says with a laugh, clearly ignoring Kibum's glares of death.
"Talk. Now." Kibum doesn't know why he chooses the bathroom as a place to hold their conversation, but within moments he throws Donghae in and slams the door shut.
"Kibummie?"
"This needs to end," growls Kibum. "This needs to end now. Your threesome has got to the stupidest, most insane, stupidest, senseless... stupidest idea you've ever come up with! How is even fair that I have to share you just to compete with some stupid title that even fits you? If you prefer him over me then why don't you just--"
But Kibum never finishes, because at that point Donghae decides to throw himself on Kibum. The younger man protests at first, but the instant Donghae smothers his lips on his own Kibum finds no reason to resist or retort back. Their kiss is enthralling, bruising, desperate, passionate... but then.
"What the bloody hell, Hae," Kibum curses, pulling apart to catch his breath. "I'm the one who should desperately be wanting this, not you! I'm the one who's been deprived of Donghae because you've been spending more time with him!"
Donghae only laughs, shaking his head. "Ah, you think so? I only did it because you're the most unresponsive boyfriend ever!"
Kibum stares blankly. "Unresponsive? Me? -- and you did what?"
"Hyukkie agreed to fake being a part of a threesome so I could make you jealous~!" Donghae says happily. "No offense, Kibummie, but you barely even hold me, even when we hug."
"That's not true, I--"
"--it is true, Kibummie. I mean, Yesung and Ryeowook hold each other all the time, and Kyuhyun gives Sungmin kisses whenever he wants one. But you--"
"I kiss you, Hae."
"Like a mother kisses her daughter, yeah. But I'm your boyfriend, Kibummie." Kibum merely stares. So this had been the truth of it all? So in the end, the person to blame was none other than Kibum himself, for not believing in public displays of affection?
Screw that.
"You want to see a kiss?" Kibum challenges, and before Donghae replies their mouths meet once more. Kibum is dominating and possessive, and he makes sure in his kiss and in his actions that he is anything but an unresponsive boyfriend.
He misses Donghae's sly and triumphant smirk between their kisses entirely.
In the end, Kibum blames himself. But he doesn't really mind the outcome, so he tends to congratulate himself instead.
Although, he admits he becomes a little worried when one day, during yet another idle breakfast meal, Sungmin asks everyone what it means to top in a threesome. Heechul informs everyone that if there were really a top in their relationship then he would be it, merely because he has the whip cracked on the other two; Kyuhyun immediately turns down this claim, saying that though Sungmin has him under the whip he has never once bottomed.
Not only does this new conversation give him unwanted new information, but Kibum also fears it will give Donghae new ideas. Kibum can already see it now: "Kibummie, I think you should let me top for once~! Heechul was saying the other day--"
The idea scares Kibum at first, but in the end Kibum doesn't really give it much thought. It was Donghae, after all. After their escapade in the bathroom, any sex with Donghae would be worth it in the end.
(Ultimately Kibum decides that, though everything began with questioning Hankyung, in the end Heechul somehow had become the center of attention. Not that anyone had found this surprising, though).
There is a highly likely chance that this one-shot will be revisited in the distant future. More specifically, there's a good chance the sex scene I skipped (I actually wrote about 500 words of it, but deleted it because I couldn't stop laughing as I was writing) will be rewritten. That'll appear in my writing journal, though, and I'll let everyone know when it does show up (or just friend me, either way).
Anyway, this is my last contribution to the SuJu fandom for the 2009 year. I have other projects I've been neglecting, so I'll be working on those from now on. I hope you've all enjoyed what I've contributed, and I'll see you in the new year~!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Eunhae: In Blanket's Snow: Chapter 1
As a reminder, this is primarily a FIRST-PERSON NARRATIVE.
Story Info:
Title: In Blanket's Snow
Author: J. Armstrong
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance, slightly OoC? (if so, only slightly), post-band fic
Main Pairing(s): Eunhae, Kyumin
Side Pairing(s): Yewook, Kihae
Story Rating: PG13
Summary: Draft. Years after their disbanding, he suddenly finds himself facing a past he never wanted to deal with. And before he realizes it, he's forced to make a decision. In a fork of two roads, he can only take one.
Chapter Info:
Title: to freeze what has already melted
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 5098
Link: here
SuJu Archive: here
Monday, December 14, 2009
KiHae: Snow (#8)
This isn't necessarily AU (well it is... idk what to call it). I guess it's unrealistic in that the guys aren't in Super Junior. I've seen people do it all the time (high school fics, for example), but I don't know the proper word for it. I'm trying out different writing styles/methods, basically. I'm also ignoring their obvious age difference (since they wouldn't really be in the same class)... blah, bear with me, just read and see. I'll explain ages and stuff at the end.
So to sum up, unlike my other one-shots, this one isn't based on their SuJu activities... if you know what I mean. And it sorta actually tells an actual story. Blah.
Title: Snow (#8)
Word Count: 4263
Rating: PG-13?
Started/Finished: 12.13.09 / 12.14.09
Music Muse: Yesung, "Trap of North" (NamHanSanSung) [cho-min, I love you for making me listen to this song]
Description: In which Kibum appreciates the pureness and beauty of snow.
Snow
It had begun in the most cliche way.
"Class, I would like to introduce you to the new transfer student." Donghae's weary eyes, which had been gazing at the outside window absentmindedly, suddenly found themselves snapping to the front of the room.
He almost found himself laughing on the spot. There, in front of him, was a rather shy looking student, his glasses probably proving more prominent than the rest of his face. The only adjective Donghae could think of was "goofy," to the point where he wanted to cry tears of laughter. He even had the school uniform tucked in!--and while, sure, that was the school mandate, no one ever tucked in their shirt.
"I'm Kim Kibum," the boy muttered so quietly that he had been asked to repeat himself. "I moved from Los Angeles. My parents are Korean though, so I can understand--"
"Choi sonsaeng-nim!" Donghae interrupted, turning to their teacher. "Where's 'Los Angeles'?"
"America. And Lee Donghae, don't interrupt, I'd have expected better manners from you!" The teacher sighed as Donghae shrugged and returned his gaze to the window once more. "Kim Kibum, I would hate to have to put you next to Lee Donghae, but it's the only open seat."
"It's fine," Kibum said politely, and within minutes he was seated. Yet the second the teacher resumed her lessons, Kibum immdiately found himself assaulted by Donghae's questions.
"So do you speak English? Ah, that's so cool! I know some English, but our English teacher always scolds me because--"
"Lee Donghae!"
"Sorry." But Donghae was clearly not sorry, because moments later he continued once more. "Ah, so do you know anyone here yet? You should sit with me at lunch, I could introduce you to a few--"
"Ah, sorry... Donghae-ssi?" Kibum turned to the boy to his right, and with his most earnest grin he gave a slight nod. "I want to pay attention in class. Can we talk later?"
Kibum would always remember the first time he'd seen those hurt, puppy eyes that Donghae had given in return. And though he really didn't know why Donghae was so hurt, when the boy had replied with "Oh, all right" Kibum had never felt more guilty in his life.
And that was how Donghae began to fit into the picture.
After class, Donghae did not wait for Kibum. Not the latter had been expecting him to, but the behavior in general had been rather strange; the second they'd been dismissed Donghae had rushed out of the classroom, not even allowing Kibum to ask where they could meet up for lunch.
As a result, when their lunch break came, he had been forced to wander the campus in an attempt to look for a boy he only barely knew. The task was hard; several times he found himself stopping a boy who only looked similar to Donghae, and as a result he found himself feeling rather embarrassed and apologizing repeatedly. The only thing Kibum really knew well was Dongha'es puppy eyes, which he surely wouldn't be wearing during lunch break.
Just when Kibum had given up hope altogether, he found the vaguely familiar voice of Donghae ringing out to him. And without hesitation, Kibum hurried his way over to a table in the corner of the room.
"Ah, Hyukkie, this is the kid I was talking about." A new boy, one Kibum did not recognize, gave a grunt and a slight wave in his direction.
"I'm Hyukjae," the boy gave as his introduction. "Donghae says you're Kibummie."
Kibum laughed, turning to Donghae. "Nicknames, already?--but I go by Kibum."
"He gives everyone nicknames," Hyukjae explained, earning a pout and a cry of frustration from Donghae.
"Ah, Hyukkie, I can talk for myself you know!" Kibum could only laugh, and without any pangs of awkwardness he allowed himself to sit down with the two. The three talked for a bit, and before long Kibum found himself enjoying their presence. They weren't obnoxious (though Donghae bordered it, Kibum decided), but they were still rather entertaining.
About halfway through lunch they were joined by a boy called Sungmin (Sungminnie, to Donghae), who was in the grade above them. Kibum found himself liking Sungmin too; e was definitely unlike the other two in that he was shyer and not so loud, yet there was something about him that still made him prominent and sure of himself. He also seemed to take a great liking for Kibum, much as Donghae and Hyukjae had, though Kibum couldn't really explain that one.
Kibum wasn't really close to any of them, but by the time lunch ended he had felt slightly more secure with himself.
Kibum didn't really see himself as growing closer to Donghae until he'd seen his first snowfall in Korea. It wasn't that Kibum had never seen snow; he just hadn't been expecting it. And while for the most part he'd dressed accordingly, he'd accidentally forgotten mittens.
And Donghae, having noticed this, decided to offer the new student one of his mittens.
"Ah, hyung," began Kibum, "you're going to get cold."
"And you're cold right now," Donghae insisted, dangling the right mitten in his face. "Besides, at least one hand will be warm."
Kibum sighed. The boy's logic was rather faulty--did it really matter if one hand wasn't freezing so long as the other one still was--but in the end Kibum relented and put it on.
"Kibummie... that's a right-hand glove."
"But my left hand's colder, hyung."
"Put it on your right hand!" Relatively surprised at the inclination of tone, Kibum rolled his eyes and placed the mitten on his other hand. But what had hadn't expected was both of his hands feeling warmth, and for three or four steps he could not explain this phenomenon for the life of him.
But then, when he felt Donghae walking slightly closer than he normally did, and when he'd tried to pull away, the realization that Donghae was holding onto his hand came instantly.
"Kibummie, don't be an idiot," Donghae muttered, pulling his hand back towards him. "You're going to get cold, and so will I."
"It'd be only me if it weren't for this genius idea of yours."
"Shush, it was my idea."
In the end, Kibum had to admit he didn't mind. Even when Sungmin caught the two of them in the act and started spewing teasing proclamations of their love, and even as he felt the red rise in his cheeks and watched Donghae scold the boy for his ludicrousness, he didn't mind.
That was how it had begun, and that was how the two had gone closer. Or at least, that was what Kibum believed to be the first sign towards being closer. Realistically, he knew it'd probably been a little more subtle and progressive than that.
About half a year later, the four were sitting yet again at the table in which Kibum had first stumbled upon Hyukjae and Sungmin. But instead of that day a year before, where the four were laughing and talking about nothing of utmost importance, now they were more solemn, attempting to console a seemingly wounded Sungmin.
"Ah, Sungminnie, you don't even know what he really thinks about you!"
"Does he even know you exist?" asked Hyukjae, earning him a sharp fist to the shoulder.
"Ignore him," continued Donghae, turning to Kibum. "Bummie, help me here."
Kibum paused. "Uh... why do you like hyung to begin with? How did you meet?"
"He's not my hyung," Sungmin said quietly. "He's in the year below you all. And I caught him in the library playing Starcraft. You're not supposed to use the computers there for recreational purposes, so I was going to tell him to get off. But then, when I told him, he gave me this goofy smile and said, 'Ah, hyung, you wouldn't tell on me right?'"
"Did you?" asked Hyukjae, earning him another punch.
"Ignore him," Donghae said yet again. "Anyway... so why are you depressed?"
Sungmin sighed. "I'm letting someone I don't even know get the best of me, Hae! I can't stop thinking about that ridiculously goofy smile of his, and the way his lips moved when he talked to me, and--"
"Hyung," began Kibum, "do you even know his name?"
"..."
Immediately Donghae burst into laughter. "What? Sungminnie, how could you not even know something like that! If you're that head over heels for him, how hard is it to ask the guy his name?"
"That's what makes it so bad!" Sungmin yelled, burying his face into his arms once more. "Whatever, just forget it. I'll manage."
"Hyung..." began Kibum, but Donghae managed to cut him off.
"That does it, Sungminnie! As of this very moment, the three of us will help you make him yours!"
Amidst Sungmin's sudden cheers of surprise and glee, Kibum and Hyukjae's protests remained unnoticed. And that was how Sungmin began to fit into the picture.
When it had all began, Kibum would never have guessed that befriending Donghae would imply playing matchmaker for Sungmin. But then again, there were many things Kibum hadn't predicted then, like how he had a sudden desire for another snowfall to envelope the school grounds. But that was an entirely different story on its own.
"If it's Hae's idea," began the disgruntled boy, "why am I the one doing the dirty work?" And true to the boy's words, it was Kibum--not Donghae--who was situated at the computers awaiting mystery boy's arrival. Supposedly Donghae was wandering the halls with Sungmin trying to stalk mystery boy, even though it was pointless since they all knew he'd end up in the library eventually. And as for Hyukjae -- well, Kibum made it a point to ask the boy later how he'd managed to escape duties.
The actual meeting of mystery boy was less climatic than preparing for the moment had been. In all honesty Donghae and Sungmin had failed, because without warning mystery boy had taken the seat next to Kibum. And after no word on Sungmin or Donghae, Kibum figured he would just carry out the deed altogether.
"What's your name?"
Mystery boy looked perplexed, perhaps as a result of having been interrupted from his Starcraft. "Ah... it's Cho Kyuhyun."
"Kyuhyun, then," said Kibum, nodding his head in improvisation. "Ah, well see... you're not supposed to be using the computers for recreational purposes."
"Hyung, you wouldn't tell anyone, would you? Besides, you aren't even using your computer. At least I'm not depriving someone of a free seat."
Kibum laughed and nodded, admiring Kyuhyun's cheeky response.
Donghae and Sungmin, apparently, had run into a mob of girls on their way to the library, thus preventing their entrance Kibum had been oh-so-anticipating. Nevertheless Sungmin was pleased to have learned his name, but though perhaps more on excitement than on an purposeful intent of fail, Sungmin had called out mystery boy's name the next moment he saw him.
And for some reason, Kyuhyun did not question Sungmin's mysterious knowledge of his name.
"Hyung, what's your name?"
"Sungmin! You should sit with us for lunch!" And despite Hyukjae's eye-rolling and obvious distaste for their lunch crew's increasingly growing size, Kyuhyun accepted the offer.
And that was how Kyuhyun began to fit into the picture.
Donghae's plan was halfway done, or at least that's what he had decided to tell Kibum. Really, knowing someone's name was probably a fiftieth of the work. But the two were actually growing closer to each other, which Donghae claimed made up the other twenty-four fiftieths.
It was about two months later when Donghae declared the second half of their plan be enacted. And both to Kibum's excitement and misery, it had been snowing.
"It'll be the perfect coffee date!" Donghae exclaimed with wishful eyes. "We'll tell Kyuhunnie that Sungmin wanted to meet him at the coffee shop, and we'll tell Sungminnie that it was all Kyuhyunnie's idea."
"I still don't see how that's going to bring them together as a couple," Hyukjae pointed out, earning him a fist to his shoulder. Kibum only shrugged and gave the boy his condolences, obviously choosing to keep his mouth shut to avoid being hurt.
To no one's surprise, Kibum found himself acting as a spy on Sungmin's "date." But at least this time, Donghae had been there with him.
"You think it will work?" Kibum asked his hyung, shivering slightly. "It's not like anyone's going to be confessing feelings or anything. They'll probably see it as an outing."
"Sungminnie's going to confess," said Donghae, nodding his head in pure confidence.
"How do you know?"
"Because he messes up a lot like that." And sure enough, within maybe fifteen minutes of Sungmin and Kyuhyun talking, Sungmin had spilled his beans. And much to Donghae's utter excitement (perhaps more so than Sungmin himself), Kyuhyun had accepted his hyung's feelings.
"Be a little more discreet, will you?" Kibum snapped, pulling the boy down once more. "Try not to get your cover blown, please."
Donghae sighed. "Fine, Kibummie -- wait, you okay?"
"...yeah...? Why?"
"You're shivering."
"Of course I am, it's cold outside if you hadn't noticed!" Kibum rolled his eyes, turning away. "Anyway, our job is done. I didn't think you'd actually pull it off, yet... you did."
"Do you want my jacket, Bummie?"
"No."
Donghae pouted, and for the second time Kibum found himself staring into hurt, puppy eyes and welling up with guilt. "Is it because you hate me?"
"No."
"Yo," said a voice suddenly, causing Donghae to jump to his feet instantly. Kibum merely turned his gaze upward, and he was relatively unsurprised to find Sungmin and Kyuhyun staring down at the both of them. Though with Kibum's volume and Donghae's eagerness... Kibum supposed it was to be expected.
"Ah, Sungminnie... funny seeing you here," said Donghae with a laugh.
"I hate you, by the way!" Sungmin shouted suddenly, pointing his finger at Donghae threateningly. "I knew said you were going to help, but this... this was going too far! You made me make a fool out of myself in front of Kyu, and I would so murder you right now if things hadn't gone in my general favor!"
"But they did!" protested Donghae, pointing at Sungmin as he leaned against the taller boy's frame. "So why are you angry?"
"He's just shocked that you dared to spy on him," Kyuhyun explained quietly. Then, without breaking the seriousness in his face, he turned to Kibum. "Sungmin's done his fair share, so we both agree it's about time you've done yours."
"What?" asked Kibum in surprise, ignoring the surprised looks from Donghae. "I dunno what you're talking about."
"Nor do I!" Donghae yelled. "What's going on?"
"A plan behind a plan!" Sungmin replied excitedly. "Ah, and Hae here thought he was the one pulling all the strings...."
Kibum turned to Donghae, hoping the other boy had a clue what was going on -- but by the look on Donghae's face Kibum knew he wasn't the only one not in the know. But apparently Donghae thought he was, especially after what Kyuhyun had said. But what did he mean? -- what fair share? When had he made an agreement with Sungmin and Kyuhyun? What had Sungmin done, exactly?
...well, aside from telling Kyuhyun his true feelings. But what did that have to do with...?
...oh no.
"You've got it all wrong!" Kibum suddenly found himself yelling, regretting it the second the words had left his mouth.
"So you were in this too?" Donghae asked, turning onto Kibum. "Bummie, tell me, what's going on? Please?"
"I... I don't really know," said Kibum, turning back to the other two. "But... I have an idea... and no, you've got it wrong."
"Kibum," Sungmin said with a grin, nodding. "It's all right. We all know. It's obvious. Even when you don't realize it. Even Kyu knows." And much to Kibum's chagrin, Kyuhyun nodded in affirmation.
"Knows what?" persisted Donghae, latching onto Kibum's wrist before the boy could turn away. "Bummie, tell me!"
"Don't you ever wonder why Kibum-ah always dresses lightly in the cold, Hae?"
"Shut up!" Kibum roared, pulling himself free from Donghae's grasp. "It's... it's not like that at all...."
"Not like what...?" asked Donghae.
Sungmin sighed. "Are you that thick, Hae, really? Too busy playing matchmaker with me? Didn't even notice poor Kibum-ah here?"
"Hyung, stop," breathed Kibum, but Sungmin shook his head.
"Ah, Hae's had too much fun humiliating me, why can't I humiliate him for a change?"
"Because you're humiliating me, too," Kibum said quietly, so quietly that it had almost gone unheard. Sungmin's grin immediately dropped after that; Donghae himself had missed Kibum's remark completely, and if it hadn't been for Kyuhyun's sudden intervention the clueless boy would surely have begun pestering Kibum to repeat it.
After some time, Sungmin bowed his head. "Ah, sorry Kibum-ah... I guess I was having too much fun."
"But it's really not like that," said Kibum, shaking his head. "Hyung's too busy being friends with Hyukjae. He's been here before me. I shouldn't intrude on something like that."
"Hyukkie?" asked Donghae, but not before Kibum turned his back to them all and sprinted away. The three boys watched as his figure retreated into the distance. Even when Kibum tripped over his own feet and fell face first into the snow, none of them bothered to pursue him.
Two regretful pairs of eyes turned to Donghae, who apparently still had no idea what was going on. And perhaps in an attempt to finish his revenge, though perhaps more so to prevent the situation from growing any worse, Sungmin sighed and let loose the truth.
"Hae... he likes you."
And that was how Hyukjae began to fit into the picture.
When it had all began, Kibum would never have guessed that befriending Donghae would imply breaking his own heart, even though he was completely in denial. But there were many things Kibum couldn't have predicted then, like how he suddenly had the urge to take up boxing so he could beat many certain people to a bloody pulp. But that was an entirely different story on its own.
A whole week had passed with Kibum avoiding the first boy he'd ever known at this school. It wasn't really Donghae's fault; not only was Kibum unsure whether Sungmin was right, but he also wasn't sure how to face the boy. He felt embarrassed and humiliated, and it was only because of that that Kibum understood how Sungmin had felt that night.
It wasn't like Donghae was making an attempt to see him, anyway. Though they sat next to each other in their fist class of the day, they made no attempts in talking. To his knowledge, Donghae had made no complaints when Kibum decided to sit with other classmates of his. As far as Kibum knew, Donghae no longer cared about him.
It was about halfway into the second week when something finally did happen. He'd been eating lunch with their classmate Ryeowook as he'd always done since recently. In a way Ryeowook reminded him of Sungmin, though much quieter (though, as Kibum had to remind himself, at one point he labeled Sungmin as quiet and shy, too). He was always leaning into a boy who had introduced himself as Yesung, and the two conversed much in the same way Kyuhyun and Sungmin did. It was a very subtle and laidback relationship, something Kibum both liked and admired.
But it was on that particular day when he received a sudden visit from Hyukjae. Without even asking Yesung and Ryeowook (not that he needed their permission, though), Hyukjae grabbed Kibum by his uniform's collar and dragged him, quite literally, out of the cafeteria and into the cold outdoors.
"Babo!" Hyukjae yelled, who seemed to be trying his best to ignore the sudden cold that now enveloped them both. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing? It's cold...."
"And so are you! You know Hae's been a mess since that day you decided to start ignoring him!"
"He's the one ignoring me!"
Hyukjae shrugged. "Then you're both at fault. And why are you so angry at Sungmin, anyway? He was trying to do you a favor. We all were!"
"What kind of favor was that? You all embarrassed me and forced my feelings upon him!" And it was only then, as the words left his mouth, that Kibum realized he'd said 'his feelings.' Instinctively. Not 'feelings Sungmin had assumed.'
"You're just like Sungmin!" roared Hyukjae. "If no one had forced the both of you, neither of you would have gotten anywhere!" Kibum said nothing, only turning away. The snow looked wonderful today, he thought to himself, in an attempt to think of anything except what was right in front of him. But the snow reminded him too much of Donghae; pity how much he disliked seeing something so naturally beautiful because of someone so beau--no, wait, no....
"It doesn't matter, anyway," said Kibum bitterly. "He likes you anyway, doesn't he? You've been around longer, you've been his friend longer... I can't really compete. I wish I'd just stayed as the new kid who never made friends. That might've been easier."
Silence fell upon the two of them for a moment, perhaps in the guise of a blanket of snow. Kibum did his best not to look at Hyukjae, afraid to see something he wouldn't like -- but eventually his curiosity got the best of him. And, much to his predictions, when he turned the boy was fuming.
"Compete? Hae doesn't like me, you idiot. It's you that's got him mesmerized."
"W-what?" stuttered Kibum, turning away yet again. "I-I mean, no, you... you've got it all wrong. He's barely known me. And what about those love taps he keeps giving you?"
"Love taps?" asked Hyukjae, blank-eyed. "You mean his punches? You call those love taps?"
"...yeah?"
"Those freaking hurt," Hyukjae said, absentmindedly bracing his shoulder. "But that's hardly the point! Did you ever wonder where I was every time Donghae was going on with one of his stupid plans? I was doing you a favor -- though I admit, the first one I just failed terribly. Fangirls are hard to anticipate...."
"So he doesn't like you?" Kibum asked again. He couldn't explain why really, but when Hyukjae had shook his head in reply he felt a wave of relief sweep over him.
"Babo... now go make up and make out, all right? I'm done playing matchmaker -- and that goes for both you and Sungmin!"
"Ah, mianhae, I'll get right on it! -- but can I ask one more question?"
Hyukjae sighed. "If you make it quick. Lunch is ending soon."
"Ah, right... well, you said Hae didn't like you. But you never said if you liked Hae."
If Hyukjae had lost his guard for an instant Kibum had missed it entirely.
"Another time," said Hyukjae. "Now go back in there before I do something you'll regret."
Much in the same manner Hyukjae had dragged him outside, Kibum had forced Donghae to his feet and brought him to the courtyard. The snow was still continuing to fall, much as it had been moments before. And for some reason, Kibum found himself appreciating the pureness and beauty of the white snow much more than he had only moments earlier.
There was still Donghae to deal with. He wasn't really sure about his own feelings, though he couldn't deny that he did feel something for him. Perhaps not in the obsessive sense like Sungmin towards Kyuhyun, and perhaps not as subtle as Ryeowook towards Yesung. He did like the holding hands and the talking to him and the...
...ah well, screw it.
"Hae," Kibum said quietly. "I have to tell you something."
The response, Kibum had to admit, had not been expected. "I know. Sungmin told me. And you're an idiot for running on me." Kibum only laughed, his gaze lingering on his laugh as its airy ghost melted into the cold air around them. For all it had taken to get here, for all the weeks Kibum had spent avoiding this... well, this hadn't been expected.
"Anticlimatic, isn't it? Donghae said with a laugh. "I guess that's to be expected. It's not like we're professional actors or anything. Not everything's like it is in the movies."
"I guess," Kibum said.
Moments passed in their silence. The seconds continued to tick towards the end of lunch, where the two would be forced apart to head to their respective classes. But to them, or at least in that moment, seconds passed into hours, hours into days. The only thing they could do was sit and watch the snow fall peacefully....
They didn't need to speak any words. The silence was assumed and understood by both. Everything they had experienced was crashing yet unfolding before them, laying before them an unclear yet certain path to their future. But neither minded, really; after all, their beginning was cliche enough; who was to say onwards couldn't be, either?
When it had all began, Kibum would never have guessed that befriending Donghae would imply going on dates with him and being his unofficial boyfriend. But there were many things Kibum couldn't have predicted then, like how the innocent question "Hae, I'm cold. Can I borrow a glove?" could suddenly mean "Hae, shut up. Just hold me already."
But that was an entirely different story on its own.
I fail miserably for starting in Donghae's POV and then forgetting about him completely. I also fail miserably at happy endings. *returns to angst*
And blahhh why can't I write my second chapter properly? Or maybe I'm trying to make it too perfect.
(For reference: Sungmin and Yesung are in the same year. Next year is Donghae, Hyukjae, Kibum, Ryeowook. Then one year down is Kyuhyun)
I hope you don't brick me for this. Uhm, hope you enjoyed? *bows down in apology to EunHae fans... will write for you one day, promise*
So to sum up, unlike my other one-shots, this one isn't based on their SuJu activities... if you know what I mean. And it sorta actually tells an actual story. Blah.
Title: Snow (#8)
Word Count: 4263
Rating: PG-13?
Started/Finished: 12.13.09 / 12.14.09
Music Muse: Yesung, "Trap of North" (NamHanSanSung) [cho-min, I love you for making me listen to this song]
Description: In which Kibum appreciates the pureness and beauty of snow.
Snow
It had begun in the most cliche way.
"Class, I would like to introduce you to the new transfer student." Donghae's weary eyes, which had been gazing at the outside window absentmindedly, suddenly found themselves snapping to the front of the room.
He almost found himself laughing on the spot. There, in front of him, was a rather shy looking student, his glasses probably proving more prominent than the rest of his face. The only adjective Donghae could think of was "goofy," to the point where he wanted to cry tears of laughter. He even had the school uniform tucked in!--and while, sure, that was the school mandate, no one ever tucked in their shirt.
"I'm Kim Kibum," the boy muttered so quietly that he had been asked to repeat himself. "I moved from Los Angeles. My parents are Korean though, so I can understand--"
"Choi sonsaeng-nim!" Donghae interrupted, turning to their teacher. "Where's 'Los Angeles'?"
"America. And Lee Donghae, don't interrupt, I'd have expected better manners from you!" The teacher sighed as Donghae shrugged and returned his gaze to the window once more. "Kim Kibum, I would hate to have to put you next to Lee Donghae, but it's the only open seat."
"It's fine," Kibum said politely, and within minutes he was seated. Yet the second the teacher resumed her lessons, Kibum immdiately found himself assaulted by Donghae's questions.
"So do you speak English? Ah, that's so cool! I know some English, but our English teacher always scolds me because--"
"Lee Donghae!"
"Sorry." But Donghae was clearly not sorry, because moments later he continued once more. "Ah, so do you know anyone here yet? You should sit with me at lunch, I could introduce you to a few--"
"Ah, sorry... Donghae-ssi?" Kibum turned to the boy to his right, and with his most earnest grin he gave a slight nod. "I want to pay attention in class. Can we talk later?"
Kibum would always remember the first time he'd seen those hurt, puppy eyes that Donghae had given in return. And though he really didn't know why Donghae was so hurt, when the boy had replied with "Oh, all right" Kibum had never felt more guilty in his life.
And that was how Donghae began to fit into the picture.
After class, Donghae did not wait for Kibum. Not the latter had been expecting him to, but the behavior in general had been rather strange; the second they'd been dismissed Donghae had rushed out of the classroom, not even allowing Kibum to ask where they could meet up for lunch.
As a result, when their lunch break came, he had been forced to wander the campus in an attempt to look for a boy he only barely knew. The task was hard; several times he found himself stopping a boy who only looked similar to Donghae, and as a result he found himself feeling rather embarrassed and apologizing repeatedly. The only thing Kibum really knew well was Dongha'es puppy eyes, which he surely wouldn't be wearing during lunch break.
Just when Kibum had given up hope altogether, he found the vaguely familiar voice of Donghae ringing out to him. And without hesitation, Kibum hurried his way over to a table in the corner of the room.
"Ah, Hyukkie, this is the kid I was talking about." A new boy, one Kibum did not recognize, gave a grunt and a slight wave in his direction.
"I'm Hyukjae," the boy gave as his introduction. "Donghae says you're Kibummie."
Kibum laughed, turning to Donghae. "Nicknames, already?--but I go by Kibum."
"He gives everyone nicknames," Hyukjae explained, earning a pout and a cry of frustration from Donghae.
"Ah, Hyukkie, I can talk for myself you know!" Kibum could only laugh, and without any pangs of awkwardness he allowed himself to sit down with the two. The three talked for a bit, and before long Kibum found himself enjoying their presence. They weren't obnoxious (though Donghae bordered it, Kibum decided), but they were still rather entertaining.
About halfway through lunch they were joined by a boy called Sungmin (Sungminnie, to Donghae), who was in the grade above them. Kibum found himself liking Sungmin too; e was definitely unlike the other two in that he was shyer and not so loud, yet there was something about him that still made him prominent and sure of himself. He also seemed to take a great liking for Kibum, much as Donghae and Hyukjae had, though Kibum couldn't really explain that one.
Kibum wasn't really close to any of them, but by the time lunch ended he had felt slightly more secure with himself.
Kibum didn't really see himself as growing closer to Donghae until he'd seen his first snowfall in Korea. It wasn't that Kibum had never seen snow; he just hadn't been expecting it. And while for the most part he'd dressed accordingly, he'd accidentally forgotten mittens.
And Donghae, having noticed this, decided to offer the new student one of his mittens.
"Ah, hyung," began Kibum, "you're going to get cold."
"And you're cold right now," Donghae insisted, dangling the right mitten in his face. "Besides, at least one hand will be warm."
Kibum sighed. The boy's logic was rather faulty--did it really matter if one hand wasn't freezing so long as the other one still was--but in the end Kibum relented and put it on.
"Kibummie... that's a right-hand glove."
"But my left hand's colder, hyung."
"Put it on your right hand!" Relatively surprised at the inclination of tone, Kibum rolled his eyes and placed the mitten on his other hand. But what had hadn't expected was both of his hands feeling warmth, and for three or four steps he could not explain this phenomenon for the life of him.
But then, when he felt Donghae walking slightly closer than he normally did, and when he'd tried to pull away, the realization that Donghae was holding onto his hand came instantly.
"Kibummie, don't be an idiot," Donghae muttered, pulling his hand back towards him. "You're going to get cold, and so will I."
"It'd be only me if it weren't for this genius idea of yours."
"Shush, it was my idea."
In the end, Kibum had to admit he didn't mind. Even when Sungmin caught the two of them in the act and started spewing teasing proclamations of their love, and even as he felt the red rise in his cheeks and watched Donghae scold the boy for his ludicrousness, he didn't mind.
That was how it had begun, and that was how the two had gone closer. Or at least, that was what Kibum believed to be the first sign towards being closer. Realistically, he knew it'd probably been a little more subtle and progressive than that.
About half a year later, the four were sitting yet again at the table in which Kibum had first stumbled upon Hyukjae and Sungmin. But instead of that day a year before, where the four were laughing and talking about nothing of utmost importance, now they were more solemn, attempting to console a seemingly wounded Sungmin.
"Ah, Sungminnie, you don't even know what he really thinks about you!"
"Does he even know you exist?" asked Hyukjae, earning him a sharp fist to the shoulder.
"Ignore him," continued Donghae, turning to Kibum. "Bummie, help me here."
Kibum paused. "Uh... why do you like hyung to begin with? How did you meet?"
"He's not my hyung," Sungmin said quietly. "He's in the year below you all. And I caught him in the library playing Starcraft. You're not supposed to use the computers there for recreational purposes, so I was going to tell him to get off. But then, when I told him, he gave me this goofy smile and said, 'Ah, hyung, you wouldn't tell on me right?'"
"Did you?" asked Hyukjae, earning him another punch.
"Ignore him," Donghae said yet again. "Anyway... so why are you depressed?"
Sungmin sighed. "I'm letting someone I don't even know get the best of me, Hae! I can't stop thinking about that ridiculously goofy smile of his, and the way his lips moved when he talked to me, and--"
"Hyung," began Kibum, "do you even know his name?"
"..."
Immediately Donghae burst into laughter. "What? Sungminnie, how could you not even know something like that! If you're that head over heels for him, how hard is it to ask the guy his name?"
"That's what makes it so bad!" Sungmin yelled, burying his face into his arms once more. "Whatever, just forget it. I'll manage."
"Hyung..." began Kibum, but Donghae managed to cut him off.
"That does it, Sungminnie! As of this very moment, the three of us will help you make him yours!"
Amidst Sungmin's sudden cheers of surprise and glee, Kibum and Hyukjae's protests remained unnoticed. And that was how Sungmin began to fit into the picture.
When it had all began, Kibum would never have guessed that befriending Donghae would imply playing matchmaker for Sungmin. But then again, there were many things Kibum hadn't predicted then, like how he had a sudden desire for another snowfall to envelope the school grounds. But that was an entirely different story on its own.
"If it's Hae's idea," began the disgruntled boy, "why am I the one doing the dirty work?" And true to the boy's words, it was Kibum--not Donghae--who was situated at the computers awaiting mystery boy's arrival. Supposedly Donghae was wandering the halls with Sungmin trying to stalk mystery boy, even though it was pointless since they all knew he'd end up in the library eventually. And as for Hyukjae -- well, Kibum made it a point to ask the boy later how he'd managed to escape duties.
The actual meeting of mystery boy was less climatic than preparing for the moment had been. In all honesty Donghae and Sungmin had failed, because without warning mystery boy had taken the seat next to Kibum. And after no word on Sungmin or Donghae, Kibum figured he would just carry out the deed altogether.
"What's your name?"
Mystery boy looked perplexed, perhaps as a result of having been interrupted from his Starcraft. "Ah... it's Cho Kyuhyun."
"Kyuhyun, then," said Kibum, nodding his head in improvisation. "Ah, well see... you're not supposed to be using the computers for recreational purposes."
"Hyung, you wouldn't tell anyone, would you? Besides, you aren't even using your computer. At least I'm not depriving someone of a free seat."
Kibum laughed and nodded, admiring Kyuhyun's cheeky response.
Donghae and Sungmin, apparently, had run into a mob of girls on their way to the library, thus preventing their entrance Kibum had been oh-so-anticipating. Nevertheless Sungmin was pleased to have learned his name, but though perhaps more on excitement than on an purposeful intent of fail, Sungmin had called out mystery boy's name the next moment he saw him.
And for some reason, Kyuhyun did not question Sungmin's mysterious knowledge of his name.
"Hyung, what's your name?"
"Sungmin! You should sit with us for lunch!" And despite Hyukjae's eye-rolling and obvious distaste for their lunch crew's increasingly growing size, Kyuhyun accepted the offer.
And that was how Kyuhyun began to fit into the picture.
Donghae's plan was halfway done, or at least that's what he had decided to tell Kibum. Really, knowing someone's name was probably a fiftieth of the work. But the two were actually growing closer to each other, which Donghae claimed made up the other twenty-four fiftieths.
It was about two months later when Donghae declared the second half of their plan be enacted. And both to Kibum's excitement and misery, it had been snowing.
"It'll be the perfect coffee date!" Donghae exclaimed with wishful eyes. "We'll tell Kyuhunnie that Sungmin wanted to meet him at the coffee shop, and we'll tell Sungminnie that it was all Kyuhyunnie's idea."
"I still don't see how that's going to bring them together as a couple," Hyukjae pointed out, earning him a fist to his shoulder. Kibum only shrugged and gave the boy his condolences, obviously choosing to keep his mouth shut to avoid being hurt.
To no one's surprise, Kibum found himself acting as a spy on Sungmin's "date." But at least this time, Donghae had been there with him.
"You think it will work?" Kibum asked his hyung, shivering slightly. "It's not like anyone's going to be confessing feelings or anything. They'll probably see it as an outing."
"Sungminnie's going to confess," said Donghae, nodding his head in pure confidence.
"How do you know?"
"Because he messes up a lot like that." And sure enough, within maybe fifteen minutes of Sungmin and Kyuhyun talking, Sungmin had spilled his beans. And much to Donghae's utter excitement (perhaps more so than Sungmin himself), Kyuhyun had accepted his hyung's feelings.
"Be a little more discreet, will you?" Kibum snapped, pulling the boy down once more. "Try not to get your cover blown, please."
Donghae sighed. "Fine, Kibummie -- wait, you okay?"
"...yeah...? Why?"
"You're shivering."
"Of course I am, it's cold outside if you hadn't noticed!" Kibum rolled his eyes, turning away. "Anyway, our job is done. I didn't think you'd actually pull it off, yet... you did."
"Do you want my jacket, Bummie?"
"No."
Donghae pouted, and for the second time Kibum found himself staring into hurt, puppy eyes and welling up with guilt. "Is it because you hate me?"
"No."
"Yo," said a voice suddenly, causing Donghae to jump to his feet instantly. Kibum merely turned his gaze upward, and he was relatively unsurprised to find Sungmin and Kyuhyun staring down at the both of them. Though with Kibum's volume and Donghae's eagerness... Kibum supposed it was to be expected.
"Ah, Sungminnie... funny seeing you here," said Donghae with a laugh.
"I hate you, by the way!" Sungmin shouted suddenly, pointing his finger at Donghae threateningly. "I knew said you were going to help, but this... this was going too far! You made me make a fool out of myself in front of Kyu, and I would so murder you right now if things hadn't gone in my general favor!"
"But they did!" protested Donghae, pointing at Sungmin as he leaned against the taller boy's frame. "So why are you angry?"
"He's just shocked that you dared to spy on him," Kyuhyun explained quietly. Then, without breaking the seriousness in his face, he turned to Kibum. "Sungmin's done his fair share, so we both agree it's about time you've done yours."
"What?" asked Kibum in surprise, ignoring the surprised looks from Donghae. "I dunno what you're talking about."
"Nor do I!" Donghae yelled. "What's going on?"
"A plan behind a plan!" Sungmin replied excitedly. "Ah, and Hae here thought he was the one pulling all the strings...."
Kibum turned to Donghae, hoping the other boy had a clue what was going on -- but by the look on Donghae's face Kibum knew he wasn't the only one not in the know. But apparently Donghae thought he was, especially after what Kyuhyun had said. But what did he mean? -- what fair share? When had he made an agreement with Sungmin and Kyuhyun? What had Sungmin done, exactly?
...well, aside from telling Kyuhyun his true feelings. But what did that have to do with...?
...oh no.
"You've got it all wrong!" Kibum suddenly found himself yelling, regretting it the second the words had left his mouth.
"So you were in this too?" Donghae asked, turning onto Kibum. "Bummie, tell me, what's going on? Please?"
"I... I don't really know," said Kibum, turning back to the other two. "But... I have an idea... and no, you've got it wrong."
"Kibum," Sungmin said with a grin, nodding. "It's all right. We all know. It's obvious. Even when you don't realize it. Even Kyu knows." And much to Kibum's chagrin, Kyuhyun nodded in affirmation.
"Knows what?" persisted Donghae, latching onto Kibum's wrist before the boy could turn away. "Bummie, tell me!"
"Don't you ever wonder why Kibum-ah always dresses lightly in the cold, Hae?"
"Shut up!" Kibum roared, pulling himself free from Donghae's grasp. "It's... it's not like that at all...."
"Not like what...?" asked Donghae.
Sungmin sighed. "Are you that thick, Hae, really? Too busy playing matchmaker with me? Didn't even notice poor Kibum-ah here?"
"Hyung, stop," breathed Kibum, but Sungmin shook his head.
"Ah, Hae's had too much fun humiliating me, why can't I humiliate him for a change?"
"Because you're humiliating me, too," Kibum said quietly, so quietly that it had almost gone unheard. Sungmin's grin immediately dropped after that; Donghae himself had missed Kibum's remark completely, and if it hadn't been for Kyuhyun's sudden intervention the clueless boy would surely have begun pestering Kibum to repeat it.
After some time, Sungmin bowed his head. "Ah, sorry Kibum-ah... I guess I was having too much fun."
"But it's really not like that," said Kibum, shaking his head. "Hyung's too busy being friends with Hyukjae. He's been here before me. I shouldn't intrude on something like that."
"Hyukkie?" asked Donghae, but not before Kibum turned his back to them all and sprinted away. The three boys watched as his figure retreated into the distance. Even when Kibum tripped over his own feet and fell face first into the snow, none of them bothered to pursue him.
Two regretful pairs of eyes turned to Donghae, who apparently still had no idea what was going on. And perhaps in an attempt to finish his revenge, though perhaps more so to prevent the situation from growing any worse, Sungmin sighed and let loose the truth.
"Hae... he likes you."
And that was how Hyukjae began to fit into the picture.
When it had all began, Kibum would never have guessed that befriending Donghae would imply breaking his own heart, even though he was completely in denial. But there were many things Kibum couldn't have predicted then, like how he suddenly had the urge to take up boxing so he could beat many certain people to a bloody pulp. But that was an entirely different story on its own.
A whole week had passed with Kibum avoiding the first boy he'd ever known at this school. It wasn't really Donghae's fault; not only was Kibum unsure whether Sungmin was right, but he also wasn't sure how to face the boy. He felt embarrassed and humiliated, and it was only because of that that Kibum understood how Sungmin had felt that night.
It wasn't like Donghae was making an attempt to see him, anyway. Though they sat next to each other in their fist class of the day, they made no attempts in talking. To his knowledge, Donghae had made no complaints when Kibum decided to sit with other classmates of his. As far as Kibum knew, Donghae no longer cared about him.
It was about halfway into the second week when something finally did happen. He'd been eating lunch with their classmate Ryeowook as he'd always done since recently. In a way Ryeowook reminded him of Sungmin, though much quieter (though, as Kibum had to remind himself, at one point he labeled Sungmin as quiet and shy, too). He was always leaning into a boy who had introduced himself as Yesung, and the two conversed much in the same way Kyuhyun and Sungmin did. It was a very subtle and laidback relationship, something Kibum both liked and admired.
But it was on that particular day when he received a sudden visit from Hyukjae. Without even asking Yesung and Ryeowook (not that he needed their permission, though), Hyukjae grabbed Kibum by his uniform's collar and dragged him, quite literally, out of the cafeteria and into the cold outdoors.
"Babo!" Hyukjae yelled, who seemed to be trying his best to ignore the sudden cold that now enveloped them both. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing? It's cold...."
"And so are you! You know Hae's been a mess since that day you decided to start ignoring him!"
"He's the one ignoring me!"
Hyukjae shrugged. "Then you're both at fault. And why are you so angry at Sungmin, anyway? He was trying to do you a favor. We all were!"
"What kind of favor was that? You all embarrassed me and forced my feelings upon him!" And it was only then, as the words left his mouth, that Kibum realized he'd said 'his feelings.' Instinctively. Not 'feelings Sungmin had assumed.'
"You're just like Sungmin!" roared Hyukjae. "If no one had forced the both of you, neither of you would have gotten anywhere!" Kibum said nothing, only turning away. The snow looked wonderful today, he thought to himself, in an attempt to think of anything except what was right in front of him. But the snow reminded him too much of Donghae; pity how much he disliked seeing something so naturally beautiful because of someone so beau--no, wait, no....
"It doesn't matter, anyway," said Kibum bitterly. "He likes you anyway, doesn't he? You've been around longer, you've been his friend longer... I can't really compete. I wish I'd just stayed as the new kid who never made friends. That might've been easier."
Silence fell upon the two of them for a moment, perhaps in the guise of a blanket of snow. Kibum did his best not to look at Hyukjae, afraid to see something he wouldn't like -- but eventually his curiosity got the best of him. And, much to his predictions, when he turned the boy was fuming.
"Compete? Hae doesn't like me, you idiot. It's you that's got him mesmerized."
"W-what?" stuttered Kibum, turning away yet again. "I-I mean, no, you... you've got it all wrong. He's barely known me. And what about those love taps he keeps giving you?"
"Love taps?" asked Hyukjae, blank-eyed. "You mean his punches? You call those love taps?"
"...yeah?"
"Those freaking hurt," Hyukjae said, absentmindedly bracing his shoulder. "But that's hardly the point! Did you ever wonder where I was every time Donghae was going on with one of his stupid plans? I was doing you a favor -- though I admit, the first one I just failed terribly. Fangirls are hard to anticipate...."
"So he doesn't like you?" Kibum asked again. He couldn't explain why really, but when Hyukjae had shook his head in reply he felt a wave of relief sweep over him.
"Babo... now go make up and make out, all right? I'm done playing matchmaker -- and that goes for both you and Sungmin!"
"Ah, mianhae, I'll get right on it! -- but can I ask one more question?"
Hyukjae sighed. "If you make it quick. Lunch is ending soon."
"Ah, right... well, you said Hae didn't like you. But you never said if you liked Hae."
If Hyukjae had lost his guard for an instant Kibum had missed it entirely.
"Another time," said Hyukjae. "Now go back in there before I do something you'll regret."
Much in the same manner Hyukjae had dragged him outside, Kibum had forced Donghae to his feet and brought him to the courtyard. The snow was still continuing to fall, much as it had been moments before. And for some reason, Kibum found himself appreciating the pureness and beauty of the white snow much more than he had only moments earlier.
There was still Donghae to deal with. He wasn't really sure about his own feelings, though he couldn't deny that he did feel something for him. Perhaps not in the obsessive sense like Sungmin towards Kyuhyun, and perhaps not as subtle as Ryeowook towards Yesung. He did like the holding hands and the talking to him and the...
...ah well, screw it.
"Hae," Kibum said quietly. "I have to tell you something."
The response, Kibum had to admit, had not been expected. "I know. Sungmin told me. And you're an idiot for running on me." Kibum only laughed, his gaze lingering on his laugh as its airy ghost melted into the cold air around them. For all it had taken to get here, for all the weeks Kibum had spent avoiding this... well, this hadn't been expected.
"Anticlimatic, isn't it? Donghae said with a laugh. "I guess that's to be expected. It's not like we're professional actors or anything. Not everything's like it is in the movies."
"I guess," Kibum said.
Moments passed in their silence. The seconds continued to tick towards the end of lunch, where the two would be forced apart to head to their respective classes. But to them, or at least in that moment, seconds passed into hours, hours into days. The only thing they could do was sit and watch the snow fall peacefully....
They didn't need to speak any words. The silence was assumed and understood by both. Everything they had experienced was crashing yet unfolding before them, laying before them an unclear yet certain path to their future. But neither minded, really; after all, their beginning was cliche enough; who was to say onwards couldn't be, either?
When it had all began, Kibum would never have guessed that befriending Donghae would imply going on dates with him and being his unofficial boyfriend. But there were many things Kibum couldn't have predicted then, like how the innocent question "Hae, I'm cold. Can I borrow a glove?" could suddenly mean "Hae, shut up. Just hold me already."
But that was an entirely different story on its own.
I fail miserably for starting in Donghae's POV and then forgetting about him completely. I also fail miserably at happy endings. *returns to angst*
And blahhh why can't I write my second chapter properly? Or maybe I'm trying to make it too perfect.
(For reference: Sungmin and Yesung are in the same year. Next year is Donghae, Hyukjae, Kibum, Ryeowook. Then one year down is Kyuhyun)
I hope you don't brick me for this. Uhm, hope you enjoyed? *bows down in apology to EunHae fans... will write for you one day, promise*
Sunday, December 13, 2009
YeWook: Moment (#1)
More products as a result of being frustrated over chaptered fics. IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE. AND OMG PRESENT TENSE, whut?
And it's not very good because I only wrote it as (1) a vent for frustration from my chaptered fic. I'm sorry if you hate me for my lack of quality.
Title: Moment (#1)
Word Count: 894
Rating: G?
Started/Finished: 12.13.09 / 12.13.09
Music Muse: Super Junior, of course. But more specifically, "H.I.T."
Description: One amongst many, never an easy task.
Draw a picture of your favorite food.
He remembers how the rest of his class had managed just fine. But not him.
He remembers asking his teacher if he could draw all of his favorite foods.
"No, Jongwoon -- just one."
"But I like many kinds of food! How can you expect me to just pick one?"
"Just pick one." He remembers being frustrated with his teacher. He remembers failing the art project, because in the end he'd written "I like all foods" on his canvas as his final product.
It wasn't fair to make a little boy pick one favorite out of many. He never understood why one favorite should be more favored over the other favorites. If they were all his favorites, why couldn't he say they all were?
As he remembers it, the adjective 'favorite' was not an exclusive adjective pertaining to one noun. The noun 'favorite' had a plural for a reason, did it not? -- but he remembers how his teacher had rejected his arguments, demanding he show respect to his teacher and her teachings.
Yesung knows this had not been the only instance. Throughout the rest of his schooling, and even in his career thereafter, he found himself being asked the same question. Sometimes they were easy -- he could easily say his favorite animal was his pet turtle, for instance -- but other times he would find it difficult. And every time he gave a response of "I like them all," he would always get a "You can't even pick one?" in reply.
No, he would always think to himself. That's why I like them all.
Even during his time with Super Junior he'd faced those questions.
He remembers them clearly. Who's your favorite member in the group?--What's your favorite song?--Where's your favorite place to perform?
Yesung dislikes those questions every time, and every time he tries to be polite in his explanation. Yet for some reason, no one seemed to understand.
Sometimes the group members themselves ask him those questions. For instance, sometimes Hankyung would ask him, "What's your favorite kind of ramyun? I'll make it for dinner," and it would take all of Yesung's power to reply to his question as nicely as possible.
Yesung hates choosing favorites.
But sometimes, it's not so bad.
For instance:
"Hyung, I'm going to play two songs, all right? Could you tell me which you like better?"
"Ah, Wookie, I don't really like picking favorites...."
"It's not really picking favorites. Just tell me which one you like better, okay?" And even though Yesung listens to the two with his usual mentality in mind, by the time both songs are finished he can't help but to answer Ryeowook's question with sincere honesty.
"The first one."
"I thought you would."
Yesung hates picking favorites, most of the time.
"Hyung, do you like the red one or the blue one?"
"Red."
"The striped one?"
"Ah, I actually liked the checkered one more."
Yesung hates picking favorites, most of the time. Yet for some reason, when around Ryeowook, Yesung forgets he dislikes choosing one out of many. And he really doesn't know why.
Yesung remembers when Ryeowook had thrown him for quite the loop.
"I think if I had to choose, you would be my favorite hyung."
"Oh? Not Leeteuk?"
"I like him too. But I think I like you more."
Yesung knows that it had been that instance that made him realize that picking one favorite over others didn't demean the others' worth in any way. And it was perhaps because of that conversation that Yesung found himself not minding the question as much as he used to.
It's still a difficult question to answer, though, which is perhaps why Yesung still doesn't like answering the question. Yet in that instance he still finds himself saying in reply,
"You're my favorite too, Wookie."
Years later, as Yesung stands backstage to a piano recital, he admits that his refusal to pick one favorite over many may have been a little irrational. As difficult as the task was, there was no penalty or significance in even picking a random answer just to be done with the question. No one had been asking him to save the world; they'd just wanted an answer.
Perhaps, then, it had been slightly overdone.
Yesung admits that the question had still been undeniably difficult to answer. And as his name is called out to the audience and as he steps from behind the curtains, he can only think of three instances in which the question had been genuinely easy to answer.
The first,
"What is your favorite animal?"
-- My pet turtle.
The second,
"Which song did you like better?"
-- The first one.
And the third, as Ryeowook turns around on the piano bench and announces to his audience the dedication for the next song, as Yesung steps before the microphone and prepares his upcoming serenade, and as the two begin performing the song Yesung had favored years before, with Yesung's strong voice in perfect eloquence with the notes of Ryeowook's piece,
"If there was one favorite moment in your life you could repeat, what would you repeat?"
-- This one.
Alternate Title: Favorite
I think I'm destined to write one-shots forever. They're so much easier to produce than chaptered fics... *sigh*
Feel free to brick me if I didn't properly catch the essence of YesungRyeowook. And I guess you could see it as romance if you really wanted to, but I think in the end it ended up being more friendship.
And it's not very good because I only wrote it as (1) a vent for frustration from my chaptered fic. I'm sorry if you hate me for my lack of quality.
Title: Moment (#1)
Word Count: 894
Rating: G?
Started/Finished: 12.13.09 / 12.13.09
Music Muse: Super Junior, of course. But more specifically, "H.I.T."
Description: One amongst many, never an easy task.
Moment
Yesung remembers when it first happened, in grade school. He only barely remembers it, but he remembers it enough to know that he hated it.Draw a picture of your favorite food.
He remembers how the rest of his class had managed just fine. But not him.
He remembers asking his teacher if he could draw all of his favorite foods.
"No, Jongwoon -- just one."
"But I like many kinds of food! How can you expect me to just pick one?"
"Just pick one." He remembers being frustrated with his teacher. He remembers failing the art project, because in the end he'd written "I like all foods" on his canvas as his final product.
It wasn't fair to make a little boy pick one favorite out of many. He never understood why one favorite should be more favored over the other favorites. If they were all his favorites, why couldn't he say they all were?
As he remembers it, the adjective 'favorite' was not an exclusive adjective pertaining to one noun. The noun 'favorite' had a plural for a reason, did it not? -- but he remembers how his teacher had rejected his arguments, demanding he show respect to his teacher and her teachings.
Yesung knows this had not been the only instance. Throughout the rest of his schooling, and even in his career thereafter, he found himself being asked the same question. Sometimes they were easy -- he could easily say his favorite animal was his pet turtle, for instance -- but other times he would find it difficult. And every time he gave a response of "I like them all," he would always get a "You can't even pick one?" in reply.
No, he would always think to himself. That's why I like them all.
Even during his time with Super Junior he'd faced those questions.
He remembers them clearly. Who's your favorite member in the group?--What's your favorite song?--Where's your favorite place to perform?
Yesung dislikes those questions every time, and every time he tries to be polite in his explanation. Yet for some reason, no one seemed to understand.
Sometimes the group members themselves ask him those questions. For instance, sometimes Hankyung would ask him, "What's your favorite kind of ramyun? I'll make it for dinner," and it would take all of Yesung's power to reply to his question as nicely as possible.
Yesung hates choosing favorites.
But sometimes, it's not so bad.
For instance:
"Hyung, I'm going to play two songs, all right? Could you tell me which you like better?"
"Ah, Wookie, I don't really like picking favorites...."
"It's not really picking favorites. Just tell me which one you like better, okay?" And even though Yesung listens to the two with his usual mentality in mind, by the time both songs are finished he can't help but to answer Ryeowook's question with sincere honesty.
"The first one."
"I thought you would."
Yesung hates picking favorites, most of the time.
"Hyung, do you like the red one or the blue one?"
"Red."
"The striped one?"
"Ah, I actually liked the checkered one more."
Yesung hates picking favorites, most of the time. Yet for some reason, when around Ryeowook, Yesung forgets he dislikes choosing one out of many. And he really doesn't know why.
Yesung remembers when Ryeowook had thrown him for quite the loop.
"I think if I had to choose, you would be my favorite hyung."
"Oh? Not Leeteuk?"
"I like him too. But I think I like you more."
Yesung knows that it had been that instance that made him realize that picking one favorite over others didn't demean the others' worth in any way. And it was perhaps because of that conversation that Yesung found himself not minding the question as much as he used to.
It's still a difficult question to answer, though, which is perhaps why Yesung still doesn't like answering the question. Yet in that instance he still finds himself saying in reply,
"You're my favorite too, Wookie."
Years later, as Yesung stands backstage to a piano recital, he admits that his refusal to pick one favorite over many may have been a little irrational. As difficult as the task was, there was no penalty or significance in even picking a random answer just to be done with the question. No one had been asking him to save the world; they'd just wanted an answer.
Perhaps, then, it had been slightly overdone.
Yesung admits that the question had still been undeniably difficult to answer. And as his name is called out to the audience and as he steps from behind the curtains, he can only think of three instances in which the question had been genuinely easy to answer.
The first,
"What is your favorite animal?"
-- My pet turtle.
The second,
"Which song did you like better?"
-- The first one.
And the third, as Ryeowook turns around on the piano bench and announces to his audience the dedication for the next song, as Yesung steps before the microphone and prepares his upcoming serenade, and as the two begin performing the song Yesung had favored years before, with Yesung's strong voice in perfect eloquence with the notes of Ryeowook's piece,
"If there was one favorite moment in your life you could repeat, what would you repeat?"
-- This one.
END
YeWook: [1] [2] [3]
(SuJu Archive)
(SuJu Archive)
I think I'm destined to write one-shots forever. They're so much easier to produce than chaptered fics... *sigh*
Feel free to brick me if I didn't properly catch the essence of YesungRyeowook. And I guess you could see it as romance if you really wanted to, but I think in the end it ended up being more friendship.
KyuMin: Telephone (#4)
My chaptered fic is depressing me (not in its content, but in my lack of satisfaction in what I've written), so I guess I'll write oneshots for now.
The lack of description was on purpose. I swear it wasn't me being lazy. It's an unconventional writing style, and I'd only employ it for effect in a one-shot... since description happens to be my friend most of the time.
Title: Telephone (#4)
Word Count: 1883
Rating: G?
Started/Finished: 12.13.09 / 12.13.09
Music Muse: Super Junior, "Good luck!!" (BUT THE CHIPMUNK VERSION OMG)
Description: By the time he saw it coming, it was already much too late.
The lack of description was on purpose. I swear it wasn't me being lazy. It's an unconventional writing style, and I'd only employ it for effect in a one-shot... since description happens to be my friend most of the time.
Title: Telephone (#4)
Word Count: 1883
Rating: G?
Started/Finished: 12.13.09 / 12.13.09
Music Muse: Super Junior, "Good luck!!" (BUT THE CHIPMUNK VERSION OMG)
Description: By the time he saw it coming, it was already much too late.
Telephone
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No, not at all."
"You're lying to me."
"...ah, you caught me. Sorry...."
...
"So why did you call, Sungminnie?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice again. It's been a while. Korea's lonely without you."
"Ah, Sungminnie, did you know Korea's population is --"
"--you know what I mean! I miss you~! Do you know when you all get to come back?"
"No, Hankyung doesn't know. We still have a few more shows, and then there's all the promotional stuff, so...."
"Oh, I see. Try to make it back soon, all right? I'll be waiting."
"I'll try. But ah, Sungminnie, as you guessed, you caught me sleeping. I'm gonna go back now, ya? I love you."
"You stole my line, Kyu~! Try to call every now and then, ya?"
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No, not at all."
"You're lying to me."
"...ah, you caught me. Sorry...."
"You need to stop lying, Kyu!"
"I just don't want to worry you, that's all."
...
"So why did you call, Sungminnie?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice again. You never call me, so I've been lonely. Is your schedule that busy?"
"Ah, yeah... the other day we appeared on a television show in Beijing. I choked up on my Mandarin, and I probably made a fool out of myself."
"Your Mandarin's better than mine! I'm sure it wasn't that bad."
"Yeah, but when standing next to Hankyung and Mimi, I look uneducated."
"Mimi?"
"Zhou Mi, we all call him that here. I thought everyone did."
"I guess, I might've just forgotten. I mean, it's late."
"Yeah, it is.... Do you mind if I go back to sleep? I'll call you back next chance I get, promise."
"Fine, fine. You better call me though. I love you, Kyu~!"
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Yeah, you did."
"No I didn't."
"...ah, I guess I've never been any good at lying."
...
"So why did you call, Sungminnie?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice. You know, you never called me like you said you would!"
"...I was busy, sorry. Schedule's been sorta rough."
"But Wookie called Yesung the other day and they talked for hours! Heechul was spazzing because Hankyung wouldn't stop talking to him in Mandarin over the phone. And Donghae even managed to call both Kibum-ah and Hyukkie yesterday!"
...
"But ah, sorry Kyu, I guess they all have their own schedules. I miss you, you know. The distance kills me."
"Ah, Sungminnie, you know that China and Korea are actually not that --"
"--you know what I mean! I can't walk over to China or anything!"
...
"Do you know when you come back, yet?"
"Hyung, you asked less than a week ago! I don't really know, sorry. Ah, do you mind if I leave our conversation here?"
"You're not going to sleep, are you? I made sure to call earlier."
"No, ah, it's just... dinner."
"Oh... right. Call back sometime, all right? I love you, Kyu."
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No, not at all."
"You're lying to me."
"Actually, I wasn't."
"Really? But the sun's only just rising here, it was the only time I could call you. Why are you up so early?"
"Stuff to do."
"Ah, all right."
...
"I guess you're awake but not really awake. You want me to call back?"
"Please."
"All right, I will. Love you, Kyu."
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Yeah, you did."
"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It was the weekend and all so I figured maybe you'd be awake by now....."
"Actually hyung, I wasn't sleeping, don't worry about it."
"You really need to stop lying, Kyu. It's not going to get you anywhere in the end."
"Yeah, I know... about that...."
...
"So hyung, how was your day?"
"It's all right, I haven't had to do anything yet. Hyukkie and I are probably going out in a bit, do something with the small amount of peace we have."
"Should I be worried?"
"Hardly. You know I love you, Kyu~"
...
"Ah... Kyuhyun, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah."
"How come you never call? Everyone else calls, you know. Not often, of course, but I mean... definitely more than you have."
"I've... been busy."
"Ah, really? But Heechul says that Hankyung sees you all the time sitting around with Zhou Mi in your free time. He says it's pretty often, too. Is it hard to make a five minute call to touch base? I'm dying over here, you know...."
...
"Ah, but I guess I'm just being a little demanding, right? Sorry, Kyu. The distance is just killing me, that's all. Do whatever you need to do, yah?"
"Hyung...."
"But try to call when you can, all right? I miss hearing your voice. Sometimes I feel like I forget what you look like. It's so stupid of me... it's only been... a month...."
"Hyung...."
"But I won't keep you waiting, I guess. Call back soon, yah? I love you, Kyu."
"Hyung... I need to...."
...
"...ah, it's nothing. I'll call you back."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Sorta, I was just napping. And sorry for not calling you back --"
"It's okay, I'm used to it now."
"...sorry."
...
"How was your day, hyung?"
"Tiring. Yours?"
"Same."
"I see."
...
"Kyu... is there something you need to tell me?"
...
"I'm not saying there is, but... if you had something important to tell me you'd say it right? I know you said you don't want me to worry or anything, but... you would still tell me, right?"
...
"Kyu?"
"I don't know, hyung. I guess it would depend. Worrying is one thing, but hurting is another."
"So if you knew something that would hurt me, you wouldn't tell me?"
"I... I don't know, hyung. If I had to I would. But I wouldn't want to be the one to hurt you."
"Even if it had nothing to do with you?"
...
"Ah, sorry, I guess I'm getting carried away. That's not the only reason why I called, I promise."
"It's fine, hyung. Uhm, maybe you could text me about it? I was sorta in the middle of something when you called. I'll call you back."
"No you won't."
...
"Sorry, I shouldn't have snapped. But you never call back."
"Hyung...."
"I'll call you later. And I love you, Kyu."
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No, not at all."
"You're lying to me."
"...ah, you caught me again. Sorry...."
...
"So why did you call?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice again. And... well...."
"Hyung?"
"Kyu, I only just noticed... but why have you been calling me hyung recently?"
"I've always called you hyung."
"But you used to call me other things, too. It feels... weird. Did something happen?"
...
"Never mind, I guess I shouldn't ask. You have your reasons."
"Hyung... I should tell you something."
"Then tell me, Kyu. Please."
"I... it's nothing."
"Kyuhyun. Tell me."
"I... can't. I'm sorry, hyung. I don't want to hurt you."
"Kyu, you're hurting me by not telling me. Please, tell me?"
"Worrying isn't the same as hurting, remember? I'll... tell you later. Not now. Sorry, hyung... please trust me."
...
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyu, I guess you must've really been sleeping this time. I just called to say I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't pry in affairs that aren't in my reach, right? But you really do worry me, and the fact that you know something that might hurt me is... well, worrying me. Is it something I should worry about? At least tell me who it's about?
"It might be a lot to ask, but could I ask you call me back? Today wasn't that great of a day and I want someone to talk to. Plus, I miss your voice. Anyway, I'll leave you alone. I hope everyone there is doing well. Say hello to everyone for me when you get the chance, all right?"
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyu, I guess you must be busy today. Sorry for calling at a bad time. But Hyukkie was saying that you guys are coming back this week! I got excited and wanted to confirm it with you, but... I guess I caught you at a bad time.
"Call me back, please? I love you, Kyu."
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyu... Heechul was saying something the other day... I didn't want to believe it, but... I don't know. Maybe it's the same thing you've been trying to tell me all this time?
"I'm not angry with you, I promise. But... call me back. all right? We should probably talk."
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyu... am I doing something wrong?"
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyuhyun-ah, Ryeowook called me the other day and told me. I guess this is going to be the last voice message I'll leave on your phone, since I know there's no reason for me to keep doing so.
"I don't understand why you couldn't just tell me. Because you didn't want to hurt me? I don't believe it. I'm not sure what hurts more, the action itself or that you wouldn't tell me.
"I waited for you, Kyuhyun. I don't understand where I went wrong. If my calls were annoying, you should've just told me. If you couldn't deal with the distance as much as I couldn't, then you should've just said so. I thought we were both in this together--and I held out for you! But....
"There's still lots I don't understand, but I guess you not telling me anything means I was never meant to understand any of it. I'm sorry I couldn't provide for you, but it wasn't going to be forever.... I mean, you're coming home now. If you had held out a little longer, maybe things would have been fine.
"...I'm sorry I didn't notice things sooner, so that I could fix them. I hope you're happy with him though. Really, I do. Whatever makes you happy, right? But I don't think I'll be able to meet you two and the others at the airport tomorrow. Please understand.
"I'm not sure if there's anything else I want to say to you. Maybe I'll be like you and keep things to myself. I'm just sorry things went this way, sorry that I couldn't change things sooner. I don't regret any of it, though. But you better not put him through this too, all right?--especially if you stray from Super Junior M and we all go back to work on a fourth album. Because... haha... well, you'll have two men wanting your head chopped off.
"Ah, but I guess I was never good at humor like you were. Like I said, I hope you're happy. I'll catch up with you another time, all right?"
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Hyung...? I'm... I'm sorry."
Blah.
If you need anything explained, leave a comment. Check back in twenty-four hours, and you'll have your answer posted from me.
Blah.
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No, not at all."
"You're lying to me."
"...ah, you caught me. Sorry...."
...
"So why did you call, Sungminnie?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice again. It's been a while. Korea's lonely without you."
"Ah, Sungminnie, did you know Korea's population is --"
"--you know what I mean! I miss you~! Do you know when you all get to come back?"
"No, Hankyung doesn't know. We still have a few more shows, and then there's all the promotional stuff, so...."
"Oh, I see. Try to make it back soon, all right? I'll be waiting."
"I'll try. But ah, Sungminnie, as you guessed, you caught me sleeping. I'm gonna go back now, ya? I love you."
"You stole my line, Kyu~! Try to call every now and then, ya?"
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No, not at all."
"You're lying to me."
"...ah, you caught me. Sorry...."
"You need to stop lying, Kyu!"
"I just don't want to worry you, that's all."
...
"So why did you call, Sungminnie?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice again. You never call me, so I've been lonely. Is your schedule that busy?"
"Ah, yeah... the other day we appeared on a television show in Beijing. I choked up on my Mandarin, and I probably made a fool out of myself."
"Your Mandarin's better than mine! I'm sure it wasn't that bad."
"Yeah, but when standing next to Hankyung and Mimi, I look uneducated."
"Mimi?"
"Zhou Mi, we all call him that here. I thought everyone did."
"I guess, I might've just forgotten. I mean, it's late."
"Yeah, it is.... Do you mind if I go back to sleep? I'll call you back next chance I get, promise."
"Fine, fine. You better call me though. I love you, Kyu~!"
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Yeah, you did."
"No I didn't."
"...ah, I guess I've never been any good at lying."
...
"So why did you call, Sungminnie?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice. You know, you never called me like you said you would!"
"...I was busy, sorry. Schedule's been sorta rough."
"But Wookie called Yesung the other day and they talked for hours! Heechul was spazzing because Hankyung wouldn't stop talking to him in Mandarin over the phone. And Donghae even managed to call both Kibum-ah and Hyukkie yesterday!"
...
"But ah, sorry Kyu, I guess they all have their own schedules. I miss you, you know. The distance kills me."
"Ah, Sungminnie, you know that China and Korea are actually not that --"
"--you know what I mean! I can't walk over to China or anything!"
...
"Do you know when you come back, yet?"
"Hyung, you asked less than a week ago! I don't really know, sorry. Ah, do you mind if I leave our conversation here?"
"You're not going to sleep, are you? I made sure to call earlier."
"No, ah, it's just... dinner."
"Oh... right. Call back sometime, all right? I love you, Kyu."
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No, not at all."
"You're lying to me."
"Actually, I wasn't."
"Really? But the sun's only just rising here, it was the only time I could call you. Why are you up so early?"
"Stuff to do."
"Ah, all right."
...
"I guess you're awake but not really awake. You want me to call back?"
"Please."
"All right, I will. Love you, Kyu."
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Yeah, you did."
"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It was the weekend and all so I figured maybe you'd be awake by now....."
"Actually hyung, I wasn't sleeping, don't worry about it."
"You really need to stop lying, Kyu. It's not going to get you anywhere in the end."
"Yeah, I know... about that...."
...
"So hyung, how was your day?"
"It's all right, I haven't had to do anything yet. Hyukkie and I are probably going out in a bit, do something with the small amount of peace we have."
"Should I be worried?"
"Hardly. You know I love you, Kyu~"
...
"Ah... Kyuhyun, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah."
"How come you never call? Everyone else calls, you know. Not often, of course, but I mean... definitely more than you have."
"I've... been busy."
"Ah, really? But Heechul says that Hankyung sees you all the time sitting around with Zhou Mi in your free time. He says it's pretty often, too. Is it hard to make a five minute call to touch base? I'm dying over here, you know...."
...
"Ah, but I guess I'm just being a little demanding, right? Sorry, Kyu. The distance is just killing me, that's all. Do whatever you need to do, yah?"
"Hyung...."
"But try to call when you can, all right? I miss hearing your voice. Sometimes I feel like I forget what you look like. It's so stupid of me... it's only been... a month...."
"Hyung...."
"But I won't keep you waiting, I guess. Call back soon, yah? I love you, Kyu."
"Hyung... I need to...."
...
"...ah, it's nothing. I'll call you back."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Sorta, I was just napping. And sorry for not calling you back --"
"It's okay, I'm used to it now."
"...sorry."
...
"How was your day, hyung?"
"Tiring. Yours?"
"Same."
"I see."
...
"Kyu... is there something you need to tell me?"
...
"I'm not saying there is, but... if you had something important to tell me you'd say it right? I know you said you don't want me to worry or anything, but... you would still tell me, right?"
...
"Kyu?"
"I don't know, hyung. I guess it would depend. Worrying is one thing, but hurting is another."
"So if you knew something that would hurt me, you wouldn't tell me?"
"I... I don't know, hyung. If I had to I would. But I wouldn't want to be the one to hurt you."
"Even if it had nothing to do with you?"
...
"Ah, sorry, I guess I'm getting carried away. That's not the only reason why I called, I promise."
"It's fine, hyung. Uhm, maybe you could text me about it? I was sorta in the middle of something when you called. I'll call you back."
"No you won't."
...
"Sorry, I shouldn't have snapped. But you never call back."
"Hyung...."
"I'll call you later. And I love you, Kyu."
"Yeah...."
"Hyung?"
"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"
"No, not at all."
"You're lying to me."
"...ah, you caught me again. Sorry...."
...
"So why did you call?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice again. And... well...."
"Hyung?"
"Kyu, I only just noticed... but why have you been calling me hyung recently?"
"I've always called you hyung."
"But you used to call me other things, too. It feels... weird. Did something happen?"
...
"Never mind, I guess I shouldn't ask. You have your reasons."
"Hyung... I should tell you something."
"Then tell me, Kyu. Please."
"I... it's nothing."
"Kyuhyun. Tell me."
"I... can't. I'm sorry, hyung. I don't want to hurt you."
"Kyu, you're hurting me by not telling me. Please, tell me?"
"Worrying isn't the same as hurting, remember? I'll... tell you later. Not now. Sorry, hyung... please trust me."
...
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyu, I guess you must've really been sleeping this time. I just called to say I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't pry in affairs that aren't in my reach, right? But you really do worry me, and the fact that you know something that might hurt me is... well, worrying me. Is it something I should worry about? At least tell me who it's about?
"It might be a lot to ask, but could I ask you call me back? Today wasn't that great of a day and I want someone to talk to. Plus, I miss your voice. Anyway, I'll leave you alone. I hope everyone there is doing well. Say hello to everyone for me when you get the chance, all right?"
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyu, I guess you must be busy today. Sorry for calling at a bad time. But Hyukkie was saying that you guys are coming back this week! I got excited and wanted to confirm it with you, but... I guess I caught you at a bad time.
"Call me back, please? I love you, Kyu."
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyu... Heechul was saying something the other day... I didn't want to believe it, but... I don't know. Maybe it's the same thing you've been trying to tell me all this time?
"I'm not angry with you, I promise. But... call me back. all right? We should probably talk."
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyu... am I doing something wrong?"
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Kyuhyun-ah, Ryeowook called me the other day and told me. I guess this is going to be the last voice message I'll leave on your phone, since I know there's no reason for me to keep doing so.
"I don't understand why you couldn't just tell me. Because you didn't want to hurt me? I don't believe it. I'm not sure what hurts more, the action itself or that you wouldn't tell me.
"I waited for you, Kyuhyun. I don't understand where I went wrong. If my calls were annoying, you should've just told me. If you couldn't deal with the distance as much as I couldn't, then you should've just said so. I thought we were both in this together--and I held out for you! But....
"There's still lots I don't understand, but I guess you not telling me anything means I was never meant to understand any of it. I'm sorry I couldn't provide for you, but it wasn't going to be forever.... I mean, you're coming home now. If you had held out a little longer, maybe things would have been fine.
"...I'm sorry I didn't notice things sooner, so that I could fix them. I hope you're happy with him though. Really, I do. Whatever makes you happy, right? But I don't think I'll be able to meet you two and the others at the airport tomorrow. Please understand.
"I'm not sure if there's anything else I want to say to you. Maybe I'll be like you and keep things to myself. I'm just sorry things went this way, sorry that I couldn't change things sooner. I don't regret any of it, though. But you better not put him through this too, all right?--especially if you stray from Super Junior M and we all go back to work on a fourth album. Because... haha... well, you'll have two men wanting your head chopped off.
"Ah, but I guess I was never good at humor like you were. Like I said, I hope you're happy. I'll catch up with you another time, all right?"
Please leave your recording after the beep.
Beep.
"Hyung...? I'm... I'm sorry."
Blah.
If you need anything explained, leave a comment. Check back in twenty-four hours, and you'll have your answer posted from me.
Blah.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
KyuMin: Desire and Necessity: Chapitre 1
Story Info:
Title: Desire and Necessity
Author: J. Armstrong (me)
Main Pairing(s): KyuhyunSungmin
Side Pairing(s): YesungRyeowook, KibumDonghae, EunhyukDonghae, HankyungHeechul?
Story Rating: Presently slightly shy of R, whether you want to call that PG-13 or T
Story Word Count (cumulative): 6891
Summary: Sungmin turns to Yesung and Kibum when he begins to feel like the distance between him and the person who means the most to him has become unbearable.
Chapter Info:
Chapter Title: Circumstantial Friendships
Chapter Rating: PG/PG-13.
Chapter Word Count: 3706
Friday, December 11, 2009
Out of Proportion, Chapter 7
Chapter seven of Out of Proportion was posted today.
Word Count: 5825
Fiction Rated: T
Description (according to FictionPress.com):
Slash. Meet Gregorio Sebari. He tends to put everything out of proportion. Now meet Dixon Hubrenne. He's the best friend Gregorio can't seem to trust. He's also the guy who's fallen head way over heels for Gregorio. See the problem yet? NaNo09.
Link: here.
Previous chapters can be found:
1 2 3 4 5 6
Remember that chapters for this story are posted every Friday until further notice.
J. Armstrong.
Word Count: 5825
Fiction Rated: T
Description (according to FictionPress.com):
Slash. Meet Gregorio Sebari. He tends to put everything out of proportion. Now meet Dixon Hubrenne. He's the best friend Gregorio can't seem to trust. He's also the guy who's fallen head way over heels for Gregorio. See the problem yet? NaNo09.
Link: here.
Previous chapters can be found:
1 2 3 4 5 6
Remember that chapters for this story are posted every Friday until further notice.
J. Armstrong.
KyuMin: Desire and Necessity: Chapitre 0
I FINALLY STARTED A CHAPTERED FIC.
Story Info:
Title: Desire and Necessity
Author: J. Armstrong (me)
Main Pairing(s): KyuhyunSungmin, KibumDonghae, KibumSungmin (friendship)
Side Pairing(s): YesungRyeowook, EunhyukDonghae, HankyungHeechul?
Story Rating: Presently slightly shy of R, whether you want to call that PG-13 or T
Story Word Count (cumulative): 3185
Summary: Sungmin turns to Yesung and Kibum when he begins to feel like the distance between him and the person who means the most to him has become unbearable.
Chapter Info:
Chapter Title: A rather lengthy prologue
Chapter Rating: PG/PG-13.
Chapter Word Count: 3185
Story Info:
Title: Desire and Necessity
Author: J. Armstrong (me)
Main Pairing(s): KyuhyunSungmin, KibumDonghae, KibumSungmin (friendship)
Side Pairing(s): YesungRyeowook, EunhyukDonghae, HankyungHeechul?
Story Rating: Presently slightly shy of R, whether you want to call that PG-13 or T
Story Word Count (cumulative): 3185
Summary: Sungmin turns to Yesung and Kibum when he begins to feel like the distance between him and the person who means the most to him has become unbearable.
Chapter Info:
Chapter Title: A rather lengthy prologue
Chapter Rating: PG/PG-13.
Chapter Word Count: 3185
Thursday, December 10, 2009
KyuMin: Happy (#3)
Just a short drabble. Unbeta-ed, as always. Sowwy in advance~
PS: SungMin is my new favorite, even though KiHae still remains in my heart.
Title: Happy (#3)
Word Count: 608
Rating: G?
Started/Finished: 12.10.09 / 12.10.09
Music Muse: BoA, "White Wishes"
Description: Happy probably isn't the best adjective you could have used.
PS: SungMin is my new favorite, even though KiHae still remains in my heart.
Title: Happy (#3)
Word Count: 608
Rating: G?
Started/Finished: 12.10.09 / 12.10.09
Music Muse: BoA, "White Wishes"
Description: Happy probably isn't the best adjective you could have used.
Happy
Happy was what they all used to describe SungMin.
There was really no reason not to, though. There was hardly a moment in which SungMin was not seen smiling, whether at his fans or amongst the other members of Super Junior. He was also a very talented individual, and he seemed to always enjoy himself in the many areas in which he was talented. There really was no reason for someone of his capability to be anything but Happy.
That was what they all said.
SungMin, personally, would not have used that adjective to describe himself. It was quite easy for someone of his nature to fake a smile, to wear a mask to hide an unhappiness that was supposedly uncharacteristic of him. But it wasn't to say that SungMin was never Happy; he just wasn't Happy often.
No one was aware of this difference in perspective, however -- and SungMin made sure to keep it that way. No one would really understand him if they knew he was unhappy. They would call him talented and capable, and then they would tell SungMin that he could conquer whatever was plaguing him because there was nothing he couldn't do.
He was an expert at martial arts, he danced magnificently, he could cook, he could sing... the list went on. But thought while they all thought that list could never end, SungMin knew better than to believe them.
In fact, SungMin knew exactly where that list of things ended. It was true, when things were in his power, he was quite skilled in getting tasks done. But there were also things that could not be accomplished by his willpower and determination alone.
So his list ended where reliance on others became necessary. If they could not perform, then he in turn could not perform either. Therefore, there actually were things he could not do.
Not to say that all things he couldn't accomplish were things that made him unhappy, though. It was just that when things made him unhappy, they were usually things he could not accomplish or fix on his own. And it was because of these things that SungMin would never describe himself as being Happy.
Nowadays, "these things" usually meant Cho KyuHyun. Things in the plural, as in not being able to talk to KyuHyun more than he already did. In the plural, as in not being able to hug the younger man whenever he said something incredibly dorky, or at least not without his feelings getting in the way. Things in the plural, as in having said feelings get in the way of their friendship. Or maybe plural, as in just KyuHyun himself.
KyuHyun always made him the most unhappy, whether he did it willingly or not. Whether it was KyuHyun choosing Starcraft over answering SungMin's phone call, him being out of the country for painfully long periods of time, or him simply being out of SungMin's reach in more ways than physically, the younger man was always doing something that made SungMin unhappy.
And they were never really things SungMin could settle on his own.
His downfall.
But no one would ever know the unhappiness KyuHyun brought him -- not even KyuHyun himself. Because they would never understand. They wouldn't understand that SungMin was actually incapable of certain things. In this case, they wouldn't understand that SungMin was actually incapable of pursuing and attaining KyuHyun for himself.
So instead, SungMin wore the smiles as he always did, keeping his troubles within the mask he placed between the world and himself.
And this was why Happy was what they all used to describe SungMin.
I wrote too many happy fics recently, so I had to write this one. Sorry.
I absolutely love how many people are using the Like and Dislike buttons! However, if you really do have time to leave a comment, I would really appreciate those more. But I still thank you for your efforts~!
Also, does anyone know if there's an LJ community for KyuMin? I mean obviously, there is, but like... what is it? Lol. But I feel like most people read miracle______ anyway, so I guess it really isn't necessary to my fics known there.
There was really no reason not to, though. There was hardly a moment in which SungMin was not seen smiling, whether at his fans or amongst the other members of Super Junior. He was also a very talented individual, and he seemed to always enjoy himself in the many areas in which he was talented. There really was no reason for someone of his capability to be anything but Happy.
That was what they all said.
SungMin, personally, would not have used that adjective to describe himself. It was quite easy for someone of his nature to fake a smile, to wear a mask to hide an unhappiness that was supposedly uncharacteristic of him. But it wasn't to say that SungMin was never Happy; he just wasn't Happy often.
No one was aware of this difference in perspective, however -- and SungMin made sure to keep it that way. No one would really understand him if they knew he was unhappy. They would call him talented and capable, and then they would tell SungMin that he could conquer whatever was plaguing him because there was nothing he couldn't do.
He was an expert at martial arts, he danced magnificently, he could cook, he could sing... the list went on. But thought while they all thought that list could never end, SungMin knew better than to believe them.
In fact, SungMin knew exactly where that list of things ended. It was true, when things were in his power, he was quite skilled in getting tasks done. But there were also things that could not be accomplished by his willpower and determination alone.
So his list ended where reliance on others became necessary. If they could not perform, then he in turn could not perform either. Therefore, there actually were things he could not do.
Not to say that all things he couldn't accomplish were things that made him unhappy, though. It was just that when things made him unhappy, they were usually things he could not accomplish or fix on his own. And it was because of these things that SungMin would never describe himself as being Happy.
Nowadays, "these things" usually meant Cho KyuHyun. Things in the plural, as in not being able to talk to KyuHyun more than he already did. In the plural, as in not being able to hug the younger man whenever he said something incredibly dorky, or at least not without his feelings getting in the way. Things in the plural, as in having said feelings get in the way of their friendship. Or maybe plural, as in just KyuHyun himself.
KyuHyun always made him the most unhappy, whether he did it willingly or not. Whether it was KyuHyun choosing Starcraft over answering SungMin's phone call, him being out of the country for painfully long periods of time, or him simply being out of SungMin's reach in more ways than physically, the younger man was always doing something that made SungMin unhappy.
And they were never really things SungMin could settle on his own.
His downfall.
But no one would ever know the unhappiness KyuHyun brought him -- not even KyuHyun himself. Because they would never understand. They wouldn't understand that SungMin was actually incapable of certain things. In this case, they wouldn't understand that SungMin was actually incapable of pursuing and attaining KyuHyun for himself.
So instead, SungMin wore the smiles as he always did, keeping his troubles within the mask he placed between the world and himself.
And this was why Happy was what they all used to describe SungMin.
I wrote too many happy fics recently, so I had to write this one. Sorry.
I absolutely love how many people are using the Like and Dislike buttons! However, if you really do have time to leave a comment, I would really appreciate those more. But I still thank you for your efforts~!
Also, does anyone know if there's an LJ community for KyuMin? I mean obviously, there is, but like... what is it? Lol. But I feel like most people read miracle______ anyway, so I guess it really isn't necessary to my fics known there.
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