KyuMin: Heart (#5)

So apparently the terms is QMi and not KyuMi. NOW I KNOW! XD I guess I should've put this under QMi, but since it really focuses more on KyuMin interaction and doesn't even mention Zhou Mi... ah well. BEWARE FOR INSANE SHORTNESS.

Title: Heart (#5)
Word Count: 190
Rating: G
Started/Finished: 12.19.09 / 12.19.09
Music Muse: Super Junior, "Puff the Magic Dragon" (OMG I CRIED LAUGHING LISTENING TO THIS)
Description: Sungmin had given him his all.

Heart

"Hyung, is there something I can give you? Anything I can do to make up for this...?"



Sungmin had given him his all, and everyone knew it. It wasn't something Sungmin wanted everyone knowing; he was just very bad at hiding this fact from everyone, Kyuhyun included.

Kyuhyun had known, but Kyuhyun hadn't considered him. Because in the end, Sungmin had lost.

Sungmin wished he could say it didn't hurt, to have tried so hard yet to see it all fall. But he knew his heart would catch him, accuse him of lying....

Because it did hurt.



Sungmin had given him his all, and everyone knew it. It wasn't something Sungmin wanted everyone knowing, but he hated how people saw him as "his favorite hyung," Kyuhyun included.

Sungmin knew it wasn't Kyuhyun's fault. It wasn't his fault that his heart had different interests than Sungmin's.

Right?



In the end, Sungmin had lost everything to Kyuhyun.

Because in the end, Kyuhyun had chosen Zhou Mi.



"Hyung, is there something I can give you? Anything I can do to make up for this...?"

"Kyu... can you give me back my heart?"

END
KyuMin: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]
(SuJu Archive)

The goal behind this one was to portray an emotion with as few words as possible; as I'm notoriously a man of words, it was my attempt to express an emotion without ranting.

I hope I've succeeded?

YeWook: Moment (#1)

More products as a result of being frustrated over chaptered fics. IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE. AND OMG PRESENT TENSE, whut?

And it's not very good because I only wrote it as (1) a vent for frustration from my chaptered fic. I'm sorry if you hate me for my lack of quality.

Title: Moment (#1)
Word Count: 894
Rating: G?
Started/Finished: 12.13.09 / 12.13.09
Music Muse: Super Junior, of course. But more specifically, "H.I.T."
Description: One amongst many, never an easy task.

Moment

Yesung remembers when it first happened, in grade school. He only barely remembers it, but he remembers it enough to know that he hated it.

Draw a picture of your favorite food.

He remembers how the rest of his class had managed just fine. But not him.

He remembers asking his teacher if he could draw all of his favorite foods.

"No, Jongwoon -- just one."

"But I like many kinds of food! How can you expect me to just pick one?"

"Just pick one." He remembers being frustrated with his teacher. He remembers failing the art project, because in the end he'd written "I like all foods" on his canvas as his final product.

It wasn't fair to make a little boy pick one favorite out of many. He never understood why one favorite should be more favored over the other favorites. If they were all his favorites, why couldn't he say they all were?

As he remembers it, the adjective 'favorite' was not an exclusive adjective pertaining to one noun. The noun 'favorite' had a plural for a reason, did it not? -- but he remembers how his teacher had rejected his arguments, demanding he show respect to his teacher and her teachings.



Yesung knows this had not been the only instance. Throughout the rest of his schooling, and even in his career thereafter, he found himself being asked the same question. Sometimes they were easy -- he could easily say his favorite animal was his pet turtle, for instance -- but other times he would find it difficult. And every time he gave a response of "I like them all," he would always get a "You can't even pick one?" in reply.

No, he would always think to himself. That's why I like them all.

Even during his time with Super Junior he'd faced those questions.

He remembers them clearly. Who's your favorite member in the group?--What's your favorite song?--Where's your favorite place to perform?

Yesung dislikes those questions every time, and every time he tries to be polite in his explanation. Yet for some reason, no one seemed to understand.

Sometimes the group members themselves ask him those questions. For instance, sometimes Hankyung would ask him, "What's your favorite kind of ramyun? I'll make it for dinner," and it would take all of Yesung's power to reply to his question as nicely as possible.

Yesung hates choosing favorites.



But sometimes, it's not so bad.

For instance:

"Hyung, I'm going to play two songs, all right? Could you tell me which you like better?"

"Ah, Wookie, I don't really like picking favorites...."

"It's not really picking favorites. Just tell me which one you like better, okay?" And even though Yesung listens to the two with his usual mentality in mind, by the time both songs are finished he can't help but to answer Ryeowook's question with sincere honesty.

"The first one."

"I thought you would."



Yesung hates picking favorites, most of the time.

"Hyung, do you like the red one or the blue one?"

"Red."

"The striped one?"

"Ah, I actually liked the checkered one more."

Yesung hates picking favorites, most of the time. Yet for some reason, when around Ryeowook, Yesung forgets he dislikes choosing one out of many. And he really doesn't know why.



Yesung remembers when Ryeowook had thrown him for quite the loop.

"I think if I had to choose, you would be my favorite hyung."

"Oh? Not Leeteuk?"

"I like him too. But I think I like you more."

Yesung knows that it had been that instance that made him realize that picking one favorite over others didn't demean the others' worth in any way. And it was perhaps because of that conversation that Yesung found himself not minding the question as much as he used to.

It's still a difficult question to answer, though, which is perhaps why Yesung still doesn't like answering the question. Yet in that instance he still finds himself saying in reply,

"You're my favorite too, Wookie."



Years later, as Yesung stands backstage to a piano recital, he admits that his refusal to pick one favorite over many may have been a little irrational. As difficult as the task was, there was no penalty or significance in even picking a random answer just to be done with the question. No one had been asking him to save the world; they'd just wanted an answer.

Perhaps, then, it had been slightly overdone.

Yesung admits that the question had still been undeniably difficult to answer. And as his name is called out to the audience and as he steps from behind the curtains, he can only think of three instances in which the question had been genuinely easy to answer.

The first,

"What is your favorite animal?"
-- My pet turtle.

The second,

"Which song did you like better?"
-- The first one.

And the third, as Ryeowook turns around on the piano bench and announces to his audience the dedication for the next song, as Yesung steps before the microphone and prepares his upcoming serenade, and as the two begin performing the song Yesung had favored years before, with Yesung's strong voice in perfect eloquence with the notes of Ryeowook's piece,

"If there was one favorite moment in your life you could repeat, what would you repeat?"
-- This one.

END

YeWook: [1] [2] [3]
(SuJu Archive)

Alternate Title: Favorite

I think I'm destined to write one-shots forever. They're so much easier to produce than chaptered fics... *sigh*

Feel free to brick me if I didn't properly catch the essence of YesungRyeowook. And I guess you could see it as romance if you really wanted to, but I think in the end it ended up being more friendship.

KyuMin: Telephone (#4)

My chaptered fic is depressing me (not in its content, but in my lack of satisfaction in what I've written), so I guess I'll write oneshots for now.

The lack of description was on purpose. I swear it wasn't me being lazy. It's an unconventional writing style, and I'd only employ it for effect in a one-shot... since description happens to be my friend most of the time.

Title: Telephone (#4)
Word Count: 1883
Rating: G?
Started/Finished: 12.13.09 / 12.13.09
Music Muse: Super Junior, "Good luck!!" (BUT THE CHIPMUNK VERSION OMG)
Description: By the time he saw it coming, it was already much too late.

Telephone

"Hyung?"

"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, not at all."

"You're lying to me."

"...ah, you caught me. Sorry...."

...

"So why did you call, Sungminnie?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice again. It's been a while. Korea's lonely without you."

"Ah, Sungminnie, did you know Korea's population is --"

"--you know what I mean! I miss you~! Do you know when you all get to come back?"

"No, Hankyung doesn't know. We still have a few more shows, and then there's all the promotional stuff, so...."

"Oh, I see. Try to make it back soon, all right? I'll be waiting."

"I'll try. But ah, Sungminnie, as you guessed, you caught me sleeping. I'm gonna go back now, ya? I love you."

"You stole my line, Kyu~! Try to call every now and then, ya?"

"Yeah...."



"Hyung?"

"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, not at all."

"You're lying to me."

"...ah, you caught me. Sorry...."

"You need to stop lying, Kyu!"

"I just don't want to worry you, that's all."

...

"So why did you call, Sungminnie?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice again. You never call me, so I've been lonely. Is your schedule that busy?"

"Ah, yeah... the other day we appeared on a television show in Beijing. I choked up on my Mandarin, and I probably made a fool out of myself."

"Your Mandarin's better than mine! I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"Yeah, but when standing next to Hankyung and Mimi, I look uneducated."

"Mimi?"

"Zhou Mi, we all call him that here. I thought everyone did."

"I guess, I might've just forgotten. I mean, it's late."

"Yeah, it is.... Do you mind if I go back to sleep? I'll call you back next chance I get, promise."

"Fine, fine. You better call me though. I love you, Kyu~!"

"Yeah...."



"Hyung?"

"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Yeah, you did."

"No I didn't."

"...ah, I guess I've never been any good at lying."

...

"So why did you call, Sungminnie?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice. You know, you never called me like you said you would!"

"...I was busy, sorry. Schedule's been sorta rough."

"But Wookie called Yesung the other day and they talked for hours! Heechul was spazzing because Hankyung wouldn't stop talking to him in Mandarin over the phone. And Donghae even managed to call both Kibum-ah and Hyukkie yesterday!"

...

"But ah, sorry Kyu, I guess they all have their own schedules. I miss you, you know. The distance kills me."

"Ah, Sungminnie, you know that China and Korea are actually not that --"

"--you know what I mean! I can't walk over to China or anything!"

...

"Do you know when you come back, yet?"

"Hyung, you asked less than a week ago! I don't really know, sorry. Ah, do you mind if I leave our conversation here?"

"You're not going to sleep, are you? I made sure to call earlier."

"No, ah, it's just... dinner."

"Oh... right. Call back sometime, all right? I love you, Kyu."

"Yeah...."



"Hyung?"

"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, not at all."

"You're lying to me."

"Actually, I wasn't."

"Really? But the sun's only just rising here, it was the only time I could call you. Why are you up so early?"

"Stuff to do."

"Ah, all right."

...

"I guess you're awake but not really awake. You want me to call back?"

"Please."

"All right, I will. Love you, Kyu."

"Yeah...."



"Hyung?"

"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Yeah, you did."

"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It was the weekend and all so I figured maybe you'd be awake by now....."

"Actually hyung, I wasn't sleeping, don't worry about it."

"You really need to stop lying, Kyu. It's not going to get you anywhere in the end."

"Yeah, I know... about that...."

...

"So hyung, how was your day?"

"It's all right, I haven't had to do anything yet. Hyukkie and I are probably going out in a bit, do something with the small amount of peace we have."

"Should I be worried?"

"Hardly. You know I love you, Kyu~"

...

"Ah... Kyuhyun, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"How come you never call? Everyone else calls, you know. Not often, of course, but I mean... definitely more than you have."

"I've... been busy."

"Ah, really? But Heechul says that Hankyung sees you all the time sitting around with Zhou Mi in your free time. He says it's pretty often, too. Is it hard to make a five minute call to touch base? I'm dying over here, you know...."

...

"Ah, but I guess I'm just being a little demanding, right? Sorry, Kyu. The distance is just killing me, that's all. Do whatever you need to do, yah?"

"Hyung...."

"But try to call when you can, all right? I miss hearing your voice. Sometimes I feel like I forget what you look like. It's so stupid of me... it's only been... a month...."

"Hyung...."

"But I won't keep you waiting, I guess. Call back soon, yah? I love you, Kyu."

"Hyung... I need to...."

...

"...ah, it's nothing. I'll call you back."



"Hyung?"

"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Sorta, I was just napping. And sorry for not calling you back --"

"It's okay, I'm used to it now."

"...sorry."

...

"How was your day, hyung?"

"Tiring. Yours?"

"Same."

"I see."

...

"Kyu... is there something you need to tell me?"

...

"I'm not saying there is, but... if you had something important to tell me you'd say it right? I know you said you don't want me to worry or anything, but... you would still tell me, right?"

...

"Kyu?"

"I don't know, hyung. I guess it would depend. Worrying is one thing, but hurting is another."

"So if you knew something that would hurt me, you wouldn't tell me?"

"I... I don't know, hyung. If I had to I would. But I wouldn't want to be the one to hurt you."

"Even if it had nothing to do with you?"

...

"Ah, sorry, I guess I'm getting carried away. That's not the only reason why I called, I promise."

"It's fine, hyung. Uhm, maybe you could text me about it? I was sorta in the middle of something when you called. I'll call you back."

"No you won't."

...

"Sorry, I shouldn't have snapped. But you never call back."

"Hyung...."

"I'll call you later. And I love you, Kyu."

"Yeah...."



"Hyung?"

"Ah, Kyu... I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, not at all."

"You're lying to me."

"...ah, you caught me again. Sorry...."

...

"So why did you call?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice again. And... well...."

"Hyung?"

"Kyu, I only just noticed... but why have you been calling me hyung recently?"

"I've always called you hyung."

"But you used to call me other things, too. It feels... weird. Did something happen?"

...

"Never mind, I guess I shouldn't ask. You have your reasons."

"Hyung... I should tell you something."

"Then tell me, Kyu. Please."

"I... it's nothing."

"Kyuhyun. Tell me."

"I... can't. I'm sorry, hyung. I don't want to hurt you."

"Kyu, you're hurting me by not telling me. Please, tell me?"

"Worrying isn't the same as hurting, remember? I'll... tell you later. Not now. Sorry, hyung... please trust me."

...



Please leave your recording after the beep.

Beep.

"Kyu, I guess you must've really been sleeping this time. I just called to say I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't pry in affairs that aren't in my reach, right? But you really do worry me, and the fact that you know something that might hurt me is... well, worrying me. Is it something I should worry about? At least tell me who it's about?

"It might be a lot to ask, but could I ask you call me back? Today wasn't that great of a day and I want someone to talk to. Plus, I miss your voice. Anyway, I'll leave you alone. I hope everyone there is doing well. Say hello to everyone for me when you get the chance, all right?"



Please leave your recording after the beep.

Beep.

"Kyu, I guess you must be busy today. Sorry for calling at a bad time. But Hyukkie was saying that you guys are coming back this week! I got excited and wanted to confirm it with you, but... I guess I caught you at a bad time.

"Call me back, please? I love you, Kyu."



Please leave your recording after the beep.

Beep.

"Kyu... Heechul was saying something the other day... I didn't want to believe it, but... I don't know. Maybe it's the same thing you've been trying to tell me all this time?

"I'm not angry with you, I promise. But... call me back. all right? We should probably talk."



Please leave your recording after the beep.

Beep.

"Kyu... am I doing something wrong?"



Please leave your recording after the beep.

Beep.

"Kyuhyun-ah, Ryeowook called me the other day and told me. I guess this is going to be the last voice message I'll leave on your phone, since I know there's no reason for me to keep doing so.

"I don't understand why you couldn't just tell me. Because you didn't want to hurt me? I don't believe it. I'm not sure what hurts more, the action itself or that you wouldn't tell me.

"I waited for you, Kyuhyun. I don't understand where I went wrong. If my calls were annoying, you should've just told me. If you couldn't deal with the distance as much as I couldn't, then you should've just said so. I thought we were both in this together--and I held out for you! But....

"There's still lots I don't understand, but I guess you not telling me anything means I was never meant to understand any of it. I'm sorry I couldn't provide for you, but it wasn't going to be forever.... I mean, you're coming home now. If you had held out a little longer, maybe things would have been fine.

"...I'm sorry I didn't notice things sooner, so that I could fix them. I hope you're happy with him though. Really, I do. Whatever makes you happy, right? But I don't think I'll be able to meet you two and the others at the airport tomorrow. Please understand.

"I'm not sure if there's anything else I want to say to you. Maybe I'll be like you and keep things to myself. I'm just sorry things went this way, sorry that I couldn't change things sooner. I don't regret any of it, though. But you better not put him through this too, all right?--especially if you stray from Super Junior M and we all go back to work on a fourth album. Because... haha... well, you'll have two men wanting your head chopped off.

"Ah, but I guess I was never good at humor like you were. Like I said, I hope you're happy. I'll catch up with you another time, all right?"



Please leave your recording after the beep.

Beep.

"Hyung...? I'm... I'm sorry."

END
KyuMin: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]
(SuJu Archive)

Blah.

If you need anything explained, leave a comment. Check back in twenty-four hours, and you'll have your answer posted from me.

Blah.

KyuMin: Happy (#3)

Just a short drabble. Unbeta-ed, as always. Sowwy in advance~
PS: SungMin is my new favorite, even though KiHae still remains in my heart.

Title: Happy (#3)
Word Count: 608
Rating: G?
Started/Finished: 12.10.09 / 12.10.09
Music Muse: BoA, "White Wishes"
Description: Happy probably isn't the best adjective you could have used.

Happy

Happy was what they all used to describe SungMin.

There was really no reason not to, though. There was hardly a moment in which SungMin was not seen smiling, whether at his fans or amongst the other members of Super Junior. He was also a very talented individual, and he seemed to always enjoy himself in the many areas in which he was talented. There really was no reason for someone of his capability to be anything but Happy.

That was what they all said.

SungMin, personally, would not have used that adjective to describe himself. It was quite easy for someone of his nature to fake a smile, to wear a mask to hide an unhappiness that was supposedly uncharacteristic of him. But it wasn't to say that SungMin was never Happy; he just wasn't Happy often.

No one was aware of this difference in perspective, however -- and SungMin made sure to keep it that way. No one would really understand him if they knew he was unhappy. They would call him talented and capable, and then they would tell SungMin that he could conquer whatever was plaguing him because there was nothing he couldn't do.

He was an expert at martial arts, he danced magnificently, he could cook, he could sing... the list went on. But thought while they all thought that list could never end, SungMin knew better than to believe them.

In fact, SungMin knew exactly where that list of things ended. It was true, when things were in his power, he was quite skilled in getting tasks done. But there were also things that could not be accomplished by his willpower and determination alone.

So his list ended where reliance on others became necessary. If they could not perform, then he in turn could not perform either. Therefore, there actually were things he could not do.

Not to say that all things he couldn't accomplish were things that made him unhappy, though. It was just that when things made him unhappy, they were usually things he could not accomplish or fix on his own. And it was because of these things that SungMin would never describe himself as being Happy.

Nowadays, "these things" usually meant Cho KyuHyun. Things in the plural, as in not being able to talk to KyuHyun more than he already did. In the plural, as in not being able to hug the younger man whenever he said something incredibly dorky, or at least not without his feelings getting in the way. Things in the plural, as in having said feelings get in the way of their friendship. Or maybe plural, as in just KyuHyun himself.

KyuHyun always made him the most unhappy, whether he did it willingly or not. Whether it was KyuHyun choosing Starcraft over answering SungMin's phone call, him being out of the country for painfully long periods of time, or him simply being out of SungMin's reach in more ways than physically, the younger man was always doing something that made SungMin unhappy.

And they were never really things SungMin could settle on his own.
His downfall.

But no one would ever know the unhappiness KyuHyun brought him -- not even KyuHyun himself. Because they would never understand. They wouldn't understand that SungMin was actually incapable of certain things. In this case, they wouldn't understand that SungMin was actually incapable of pursuing and attaining KyuHyun for himself.

So instead, SungMin wore the smiles as he always did, keeping his troubles within the mask he placed between the world and himself.

And this was why Happy was what they all used to describe SungMin.

END
KyuMin: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]
(SuJu Archive)

I wrote too many happy fics recently, so I had to write this one. Sorry.

I absolutely love how many people are using the Like and Dislike buttons! However, if you really do have time to leave a comment, I would really appreciate those more. But I still thank you for your efforts~!

Also, does anyone know if there's an LJ community for KyuMin? I mean obviously, there is, but like... what is it? Lol. But I feel like most people read miracle______ anyway, so I guess it really isn't necessary to my fics known there.